Love sick series fanfics of the juicier kind

Catch - part 1 (Phun)

The morning after Noh's party

The night dissolves and the sky in the horizon gently colours itself in pastels with the glow of a new day.

The sun follows soon and rises higher in the sky as the clock on my nightstand ticks.

I haven't slept a second this night.

Sometime around dawn, I had no tears left and since then I've just stared at the sky, for hours and hours.

My room is disgustingly hot, heated by the scorching sun, but I haven't bothered with turning up the AC even though I'm

sweating like crazy and the air feels stuffy.

My head hurts as well. The hangover could have been a lot worse, but since I got all of the alcohol out, it just left me with a headache.

Not that I care. I definitely prefer the throbbing pain behind my eyes, to the feeling i have in my heart and mind right now.

Like small sharp shreds of something broken, keeps cutting me relentlessly.

What I would want the most is to just rewind time to before the moment I picked up that fateful phone and saw that video which in the

minutes it lasted, managed to crush me utterly and completely. But unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

I can't unsee it. Instead, I've had to watch it on endless repeat in my mind all night.

My head and heart are so full of contradictory and confusing thoughts and feelings.

I can't erase the image of Aim's face, showing emotions that I thought only were for me. That guy, whoever he was, owning her.

I'm disgusted by it, feel sick to my core, still I can't feel hate nor anger. I want to detest her. But I can't. When I try to search for those

feelings, they aren't there. Only pain and sadness.

All I can see and hear in my mind is Aim's smile and laughter. Her incredibly beautiful eyes and how mesmerized I was the first time I saw her,

when she walked up to me and asked for my name.

What went wrong? And when? Is this my fault? Did I somehow push her into this by not being there for her lately, as I should have?

Has she noticed my horrible betrayal of our relationship and been driven into doing something like that? I don't know.

The thought of the ty things I've done to her, makes me ashamed of myself. I deserve this. Without a doubt.

What goes around comes around. But it still hurts. Because I love her.

I've realized lately, that what I feel for her isn't the same as what I feel for Noh.

I never knew what true love was before he came crashing into my life. But that doesn't mean that what I felt and still feel towards Aim,

isn't real. She was my first love, my first real girlfriend and I've been happy with her. Even though she's suffocated me sometimes,

being difficult and harsh, I've still always felt that I want to take care of her and protect her, be with her and seeing her smile.

I've never doubted her feelings for me. I honestly and truly believed that she loved me. Maybe she doesn't, maybe she never did?

Or maybe she stopped loving me because she suspected that I was cheating on her. Because I didn't love her enough to treat her the

way she deserves. Oh god, I'm such a despicable .