"In Latin my name, Aurelia, basically means 'the golden one.' My mother literally named me her golden light through the storm that was her life. That is my job. To be everyone's light at the end of the tunnel. And I got stuck worrying so much about...
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"My beautiful golden girl," Martina Ramirez-Arellano cooed. "Your father was right when he said you'd be personally blessed by Venus."
Aurelia didn't say anything. She just continued to sit on her mother's bed, her legs crossed and shiny dress fanned around her while her mother stared blankly at the white wall in front of her. Aurelia continued to run her brush through her mother's dark hair.
"He did say that," Martina murmured. "Right before he left us."
Aurelia continued to brush her mother's hair, trying her best to ignore the yelling and commotion coming from downstairs. Her uncle, Julian Ramirez-Arellano, was probably yelling at Reyna and Hylla again. They had snuck out last night to get themselves food. They had tried to convince Aurelia to join them, but she declined in favor of staying beside her mother.
Martina finally stopped staring at the wall, and glanced around the room. Ghosts were hiding in the shadows of the room. They always stuck to the shadows when Aurelia was around her mother. It was part of the reason she wasn't getting yelled at alongside her cousins—she was too worried about what her mother would do if she left her side, even if it was just for a night.
"Do you think they're right, cariño?" Martina murmured, hearing the ghosts whisper around her. The whispers were always easier for her to hear.
"What are the ghosts saying, mama?"
"That you would be better off without me," Martina whispered. "That I am only hurting you by being alive."
"I never think that," Aurelia assured her mother. "They're trying to confirm your worst fears, mama."
Martina looked unconvinced.
Aurelia hid her concern as she kissed her mother's forehead. She saw the flashes of herself screaming at her. Then her father, the god Pavor, was yelling at Martina too. Telling her that it was her fault he left. That everyone would be better off if she was gone. Her mother's greatest fear.
That everything she suffered for in Iraq was for nothing because everyone hated her for it. That she is the monster that drove away Pavor and would inevitably drive away her only reason for living—Aurelia.
Pavor. The meeting of Aurelia's parents came from her mother's lowest point while being a soldier. Pavor had saved her then, and Aurelia came from there. Martina had tried to convince Pavor to stay longer, for he gave her the strength she needed to continue. He was the God of fear, but he helped her overcome hers. Martina knew that without him, she would begin to spiral again, just like she had before he came.
