The Polish Program (LSD, #2)

12. Black

Black

"Is this the most expensive fashion shop in Krakow?"

Scarlett is upset: "Have you seen those prices? Four zloty is one euro. That blouse costs 250 euros. That blue dress is over 1.500 euros. How much did you pay for that T-shirt you're wearing?"

"This T-shirt is for leisure time. We're going to buy our working outfit for today's job. If you want to do this right, you'll need the proper equipment."

"We can go to Johnson & Johnson in the industrial area. They have uniforms for every profession: construction workers, mail delivery, cleaners or firemen."

"We should have thought of that when we needed the nurse and doctor uniforms. It would have saved us some trouble at the hospital. But we're not going to dress like electricians or bus drivers. We're going to be businessmen, well... you'll be a businesswoman and I will be your aide, your over-praised but under-paid employee. Where do successful businesswomen buy their uniforms?"

I step inside, look around, look behind me, and find out that Scarlett is still hesitating in front of the entrance: "Come on, Scarlett. Dress for success. We're going to spend a fortune on your image. You might be a bit more enthusiastic."

"Spending so much money for a pig like Axel Conklin is casting pearls before swine, if you ask me.", Scarlett mutters.

I step back, offer my arm and lead her inside the world of Prada, YSL, Versace, Armani, Dior and Dulce&Gamberra: "I don't want to see you shy; I want to see you shine."

A middle-aged woman with blue hair and a professional smile welcomes us: "Are you being served?"

"I hope you can help us, ma'am. This lady, Miss Scarlett, has an invitation for the annual dinner, tonight, with the former Italian President. We wonder if you have any suggestions about what she might wear."

"Is there any limit to the budget?"

I show her William Oglethorpe's platinum credit card: "This is the limit."

The professional smile of the saleswoman turns like magic into the smile of the fairy princess meeting Prince Charming: "Ah. That gives a distinctive dimension to the word «suggestions». Allow me to contemplate the lady... Hm. Can you give me an idea about the creation the coiffeur will have in mind?"

I look at the latest creation of Scarlett's hairdresser, who's obviously a big fan of Whoopi Goldberg: "That would depend on the dress. As you see, her last hair architect, Scary Harry, created this, «Nightmare in Krakow». He thought Miss Scarlett had to present the Horror-movie Oscar Night. Do you have a contact that might help us out?"

"I have. Do you have a second?"

She walks to the counter, picks up the phone, dials a number and says: "Jean Pierre? I have an emergency here. Can you? ... Yes, right now... Thank you very much."

Mrs Slocombe returns with her next question: "What jewellery would Miss Scarlett like to wear on the occasion? Would that be silver? Gold? Diamonds, perhaps?"

I visualise Axel Conklin, the swine...

Casting pearls before the swine always seems to work out fine.

"That would be pearls, quite a lot of them."

Mrs Slocombe immediately is our new best friend. I guess I may call her Betty from now on.

"Wonderful. We have something that might be just perfect for the occasion. If Miss Scarlett would be so kind to follow me to dressing room three? I'll be back in a moment."