2- The Rumor

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It was a week later when I heard the news. Needless to say, I didn't accept it at first, believing it to be a rumor. But everyone said the same thing, and eventually I believed it. I was devastated.

PJ was going out with another girl. Natalie. She wasn't in any of my classes, but I couldn't get away from it.

She was a swimmer, one of the best on the girls' team. She was naturally pretty, and she never wore any makeup, compared to me, who felt self-conscious without it. We looked a lot alike besides that, actually. Same hair color, same light skin, both tall with long legs. Alex had often mistaken us for each other at the beginning of the year before we knew each other well. But how was I supposed to compete with that? She excelled at a sport I couldn't even attempt to be good at.

The days passed by in a blur, save for the few times when I put every effort in my being to use, avoiding PJ at all costs. I didn't want to see him and remind myself, and I certainly didn't want to catch a glimpse of him and Natalie together. Alex had mentioned seeing them once in the hallway (just talking, not anything else) but she hadn't went too far into detail. Not that I wanted her to. Like I said, I didn't want to cause myself any more pain than absolutely necessary.

I was so far very successful at this avoidance. That is, until Mr. Desmond decided it would be a good idea to torture me; he put us in groups again.

PJ remained across from me like last time, but I tucked my feet far beneath my chair and avoided eye contact. We finished the assignment quickly this time. Of course. I thought. It just has to be a short assignment. It seems like this school hates my guts right now. Now I'd have to awkwardly sit here, facing this beautiful human being who was going out with someone else, and somehow cope with it.

And then he tried to talk to me. Of all the nerve! Didn't he realize my strict avoidance?

"Um, are you ok?" he asked, leaning over a little. It made his hair swoop down slightly into his face. It only made it that much harder to suppress my instinct to brush it away. I pretended to not have noticed. Looking up innocently, I asked,

"What? Oh, uh, sure." As if I could possibly be any worse as those blue, blue eyes seemed to bore into my soul. What was I thinking? Wasn't I supposed to be avoiding this? I quietly looked back down at my phone.

"Ok, cuz I was thinking..." he trailed off when he realized I wasn't looking up. I had to, though. I couldn't help it.

"What were you thinking...?" I asked, searching his face.

"Do you know Beth Rend?" he asked. Nothing important. Nothing life-altering. Nothing worth looking up for, breaking my avoidance for. Stupid me. Beth happened to be one of my best friends. He probably knew her from swim or something, I assumed.

"Yeah, she's my best friend. Why?"

"I know her from swimming, and I always see her walking around with you but I wanted to make sure it was actually you cuz' I was kinda far away..." he trailed off again.

"Uh, yeah. Most likely." I smiled.

"Why don't you try out for swim if all your friends are on the team? I'm sure you'd make it in."

Why would he ask me that? I didn't want to tell him the truth, anyway, that I couldn't swim at all. Plus, hello, Natalie! No thank you to the awkwardness that comes with couples you don't ship.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'd love it," I mumbled sarcastically.

"What did you say?" he asked, smirking. Why did I have to find that stupid dimple so attractive?! And the way he talked, almost as if he used to have a lisp but had finally grown out of it? How could anyone find that a major turn-on all of the sudden? And yet I found it increasingly more difficult to not focus on it. Which only led to me looking at his lips, which of course sparked something else entirely inside my mind. Thoughts that were definitely not going to lead me anywhere away from not liking him anymore. I decided to discourage this way of thinking and flat-out ask:

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