Louis is tiered of life. His demons from the past won't let him rest and he's a loner. Nothing worth living for.
But then he meets Harry, a bundle of sunshine and slowly the darkness in his life fades away.
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The trauma I'...
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On the day of their appointment, Louis goes to the clinic with a cigarette in his hand and the hood of his jacket pulled low over his face. He hadn't replied to Harry's last message, not knowing what to write on it. It makes him all the more nervous that he probably screwed up their progress and Harry is rightly angry. How will he react? Does he let him feel what a social freak he is or does he forgive him again? Louis really wants to make an effort to get better, but it's so damn hard to break out of the chains of his past or to break learned behaviors for self-protection. The pressure he puts on himself with it weighs heavily on his shoulders and almost seems to crush him in lonely hours. And he's lonely most of the time. Of course he could call Harry over for a fuck any day but he's too busy with himself right now. Although his fingers are secretly itching to put his cock inside him again, Louis sexdrive has always been high and it's been a few days since he last had sex with him.
When he arrives at the clinic he already sees Harry standing in front of it, his pink bobble hat on his head again and engrossed in his phone. Louis stops and watches him for a moment, some people who pass him look at him or give him a second look over their shoulder and he can understand why. It's as if he exudes something innocent, that certain charm and beauty that draws looks. He can't resist it either and is a little proud that he has an intimate part of Harry all to himself. The pink of the hat softens him even more despite his athletic build and Louis ponders what it would be like if he wore something pink on his body. Louis can't resist the images in his head of him lying beneath him in a pair of pink lace panties, his hands tied and completely at his will. The way his cock would look beneath the sheer fabric. He just shakes himself out of his thoughts when Harry looks up and their eyes meet. Louis swallows, hoping his own jacket is long enough and hiding his bulge, and then strides toward him with quick steps. As always, Harry smiles broadly at him and Louis is confused. And that's why instead of greeting him, he says, "Why are you smiling? Aren't you mad at me?"
Harry frowns and doesn't seem to know why Louis is asking that.
"Why should I be angry?"
"Because I didn't answer you anymore," Louis says, and then Harry seems to understand.
"No, we agreed on small steps. I regretted writing it to you afterwards, I know it was too much."
Louis just sighs and instead of answering, he tries a smile, which he finds easier than usual. He nudges Harry in the waist and nods his head in silent encouragement towards the clinic's entrance. They walk side by side, Harry does the registration for the two and Louis is grateful for less human contact for him. Instead he lets himself fall onto a seat in the aisle and shortly thereafter Harry is already sitting next to him. Their legs close together so that Louis looks fascinated at the physical contact. Both legs are almost equally slim but Harry's thigh is quite a bit longer and he knows how good those long legs look bare. Louis loves his legs and decides to pay more attention to them the next time they have sex. He can feel Harry's gaze glaring at him, and when he lifts his head and looks into his eyes, he sees something in there that he can't interpret. It feels special, this moment. All around them is pure life, people walking down the aisles and loud talk, but for Louis it seems to have faded out. He feels Harry's leg against his, the body heat and his eyes mesmerize him. Harry's Adam's apple bops significantly as Harry swallows and his sensual lips part just to say something as they are both jerked out of their little bubble when Harry is called. He takes the heat with him and Louis is left confused and rigid in his chair in the hallway. What was that? Harry's attraction to him seems to be growing and he probably just needs to fuck him again. What else should it be? Louis isn't starting to have any feelings for him at all, is he? That would be absurd, Harry only has charm and good looks. That's all. He's going to drag Harry right after here to the hospital bathroom and get some form of gratification from him. Problem solved. Louis is grateful that the inner turmoil didn't trigger a panic attack or other breakdown this time. Progress, definitely progress. Lily would be proud of him, or at least he hopes so.
