Walking In Your Fleeting World || Dazai Osamu

Chapter-23: Isn't there anyone

"Is she still in the village?"

"...She is."

"She let you leave knowing your delinquent history?" I shove my hands inside my pant pockets to generate comfort.

"She did..." He diverts his gaze away, slowly standing up.

"She didn't." I draw in a long breath, slowly shaking my head. I look at him, "Did she?"

"What do you mean-?" His eyes widen, "You think I lied-"

"Purple Hyacinth." I raise my tone, interrupting him, "Seeking for forgiveness, expressing regret."

"..."

"You're the one who shot me from behind, aren't you?"

Excruciating silence covers the room, we stand there unmoving. The clock ticks on the wall monotonously, filling up the absolute tranquility.

He opens his mouth after a while, nodding once, "I am."

"Why?" I whisper. The living corpse that used to lie lazily behind the counter seems more lifeless now. I cast my gaze down, incapable of bearing it. "Did Fyodor take your mother hostage?"

"I wish!" He says, a heartbroken smile all over his tone. "It was a price to pay. I had to help him capture you in exchange for something."

"What is it?" I look up at him. If it's not some sort of manipulation, what else is there?

"Revenge."

His response throws me off, "Against who? Me? Did I-"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! NONE!" His sudden scream shuts me down instantly, "I had no interest getting you involved! Not even a single second have I pondered harming you for this worthless desire of mine!"

The guilt in his tone, the regret on his face, and the anger flashing in his eyes are somewhat animalistic, vicious. Is he really the Masato-san I know?

"It's odd, isn't it? I'm not supposed to feel like this." He forces a shattered smile, "I thought I could die there..." His right hand loosely extends toward the counter, "And as my worthless corpse decays, I'd finally, finally be free... no desire, no hope, no future, nothing..."

"I don't know what changed..." His breathing lurches, "I don't... really... It was the sixty-ninth day... I made you go home, you kept on getting hurt, turning into a fucking walking zombie... I couldn't make you work... thought I'd leave the city, giving you enough money for the time being... I made up a lie to convince you..."

"Then a man came." A violent glare overcomes his saddened gaze, "With a funny hat and a flashy coat. Skinny and frail, eyebags bigger than mine..."

"...That man knew everything. Every single thing. I don't know how. But he did... He said he'd help me with my revenge. Revenge against Mori Ougai."

Revenge against Mori?'

The words stab inside my ears. I freeze in my place, staring at the man forgetting to blink.

So the assassination threat Dazai is handling... Came from Masato-san?

"No..." I choke words out. My lips tremble, I press the back of my left hand over them, muffing my cry, "No... please no... this is- this is..."

Out of my control. Out of Dazai's control. Port Mafia will kill him.

"I know... it's impossible, dangerous... But he gave me a plan, assistants... everything... in exchange for having me capture you, and break your legs."