Your dreams

Chapter 17

Lan Wangji turned away to do as Wei Wuxian had asked him to. To leave. To leave the infirmary, to get out of the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple's sight, from his proximity, from his life. He was completely devastated and the wetness in his eyes was getting harder and harder to ignore. If he could see himself in a mirror right now, he was sure he would not recognize the person standing there. His expression must have been one of tremendous torment and heartbreak.

Wei Wuxian wanted him to leave. His whole world was crumbling and he was not certain how he was still managing to stay sane and standing. Leave. That word had pierced his heart like a dagger and was now being twisted and turned in place with his every heartbeat. He was amazed that he had not yet passed out from the agony.

Wei Wuxian wanted him to leave. The guest disciple he had just met yesterday – although he had heard rumours about him way prior to their first encounter – had gotten fed up with him in a single day. That should not have surprised him, he had always been told that he was not the best when it came to interaction between human beings. However, this one and only time, he had truly wished to make this work. He had tried his best, going out of his way and making sure to keep close to the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple. And it was still not enough.

Wei Wuxian wanted him to leave. He did not want to see him anymore. What if, Lan Wangji was scared by his own realization, it had been all because of him that the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple had been suffering? Was it for whatever reason his tenacity to stay close to him that had been hurting him all along? If that was the case, it was truly the best for him to leave and not look back. Wei Wuxian would be happier without him around.

But something made him stop before he even finished his first step. His heart had already felt like it was breaking and his eyes had been wet. However, a new sensation completely overtook him. He stood stunned in place, unable to move. He was in awe and shock, a pleasant one to his surprise. All that, because his sight got hazy again and he was seeing another vision. This time though, the main protagonist was he himself.

Lan Wangji was standing frozen in place, his spiritual energy locked away out of his reach and all he could do was watch as the light of his days, his beloved, his one and only soulmate was being held hostage by Jin Guangyao. There was a thin line of blood where a string was being held close to Wei Ying's throat.

He felt like he was the one being strangled right now. He was internally panicking and promising murder. He had to somehow save Wei Ying from that monster which had been pretending to be his brother's friend all the while he had been grinning maliciously from under the sheep's clothing he had hid himself under.

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian shouted at the top of his lungs: "Lan Zhan! Lan Wangji! Hanguang-Jun! Back then, I-I really wanted to sleep with you!"

Everything stopped and froze for an undefined eternity. Even the Earth seemed to have held its breath and waited for what would happen.

Then, the world started moving again, in accelerated motion.

Jin Guangyao released Wei Ying from his hold, probably too shocked himself to keep holding onto him. Wei Ying all but run towards Lan Wangji and put his hands around him in a crushing hug, clinging to him for dear life. Lan Wangji was still too bewildered to react in any way. His mouth was agape as he wanted to ask that single question that was swirling in his mind in a myriad of different iterations. But no word came through his tight throat.

He wanted to make sure that he had not heard wrong. He wanted to ask Wei Ying if what he had just said had been meant as a joke, a not too tasteful distraction, or if he had confessed to him in all seriousness. And most of all, he wanted to hug him back.

Wei Ying clung to him even tighter and whispered into his ear: "I like you. Or in other words, I fancy you, I love you, I want you, I can't leave you, I whatever you. I want to night hunt with you for the rest of my life."

The vision ended and Lan Wangji found himself standing back in the dark infirmary. There was warm wetness on his cheeks, just like back then at the temple when Wei Wuxian had declared his undying love for him. Lan Wangji had never gotten to say those words back, the vision had been too brief and he had been too dumbstruck to react. Now, he could not bear it anymore. His chest felt like it would explode any second and he had trouble breathing.

His body moved on its own, knowing perfectly well what he needed. Before he even fully realized it, he was hugging Wei Wuxian with fierce force, determined to never let him go. He did not mind that his soulmate was in another body than the one in his vision. Or that his confession would most probably only come years in the future. The soul remained the same and Lan Wangji was just happy to keep holding onto him and cry.

They had made too many mistakes in the past and they had waited for way too long to be together. He would not let it happen a second time. Or, not at all if that was the case. He did not have the slightest idea why he had kept seeing those visions, but now he believed, it had been so he could avoid making the same stupid mistakes. If he was given this chance, he was not about to let it go. He took a deep breath and finally was able to let his voice out:

"Wei Ying, I love you."

He finally, finally said those words which had been stuck in his throat and which were making so much sense to him. He had been agonizing the whole day over why he was so attracted to the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple, so much, that he was not willing to leave him alone or out of sight for even a minute. It had hurt whenever the other was cold to him or rejected him. It had just not felt right.

Now, at last, everything was as it should be. He had his Wei Ying back, and it was everything he could have ever wanted.

"I love you," he whispered again, overjoyed and satisfied.

Then, there was only darkness. He closed his eyes and held his breath, preparing himself for the worst. He was waiting for Wei Ying's reaction.