Your dreams

Chapter 15

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji called in a desperate attempt to wake Wei Wuxian up. He also continued to shake the other's shoulder.

Lan Wangji was frozen in utter horror and his knees gave out under him. There, just in front of his eyes, was a scene he never wanted to happen. Jiang Cheng moved faster than him and he cradled the bleeding body of their sister into his arms. Shock was written all over his face and he shouted desperately: "Sister!"

Lan Wangji's body finally moved and he was able to crawl closer on his hands and knees. He would not have been able to stand even if he had tried to. He was way too shaken. He reached out his hand, unsure how he could fix this but willing to do anything for his sister. Jiang Yanli could not be dead, she simply could not. She must have still been alive, although heavily wounded. They needed to get her help.

"Do not touch her! It is all your fault!" Jiang Cheng screamed in a fit of righteous fury. He slapped his hand away and Lan Wangji immediately retreated. It hurt way more than such a simple gesture should have.

Lan Wangji truly needed to get the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple from the grasp of his nightmares. If he had not believed before that the visions he had been seeing had been the other's night terrors, he would have now. Wei Wuxian was whimpering under his breath, sometimes sobbing, sometimes calling out for people that Lan Wangji did not even know, even though his name was the most common in the mix. He was visibly in pain, his brows furrowed tragically and his head was moving from one side to the other as he was trying to escape the horrors on his own.

Lan Wangji was running through a field of high grass. His body was hurting all over and he could not quite get a propre breath. His heart was broken several times over and he had no idea if it would ever become full again. He just knew that the wounds on his back had opened up again. Not that he cared though. He sped up some more and reached out his hand to catch the running figure in front of himself. Finally, he succeeded and Jiang Cheng was stopped in his mad rushing. His brother turned around with an expression of pure fury.

Lan Wangji's eyes were tearing up and it took all of his concentration to stay in the current moment. The visions continued to plague his sight, one more violent and confusing than the other. All extremely painful to watch.

Lan Wangji was being pushed down onto his back by Jiang Cheng. His heart was broken again. How many times had it been now? He knew that it was all his fault, everyone had died because of him. His brother did not even have to say it aloud – scream it at him on top of his lungs – for him to be drowning in guilt and helplessness. How could he atone now? It was already too late, only regrets remained.

Perhaps it would have been better if he had never been brought to Lotus Pier. Perhaps it would have been better if Uncle Jiang had never found him. Perhaps...

Suddenly, he could not breathe anymore at all. Jiang Cheng's hands were tightening around his throat. He closed his eyes; if this was how Jiang Cheng wanted him to atone, he would not object. He deserved it.

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji called again and shook the other's shoulder one more time.

Who knew what finally did the trick, but Wei Wuxian sat up abruptly, gasping for breath. Lan Wangji could only see his silhouette, white guest disciple's uniform was a speck of a lighter space in the darkness. Just like Wei Wuxian's widely open eyes.

Lan Wangji of course could not tell what kind of expression the other had or how much he was still affected by the previous terror. However, he had a pretty good idea as the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple pushed his hand away immediately and curled into himself. Lan Wangji could hear quiet sobs and gasps for air. Wei Wuxian was still very much in distress.

"Wei Ying..." he called out for him for the third time that night.

All he wished to accomplish was to ground Wei Wuxian to the present moment and remind him that he was not in his nightmares – memories – anymore. He wanted to tell him that if everything he had seen should one day come to pass, he would do his utmost to not let it happen or at least be by his side and support him. His heart was full of determination to protect the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple, from the whole cultivation world if it came to it.

He had no idea from where such strong feelings were coming from. He was usually much more successful in controlling his emotions and urges. They had no place in the Cloud Recesses. However, right now, his heart was agitated without any means for him to control it. A small part of him actually did not want to do that. He had seen the older version of himself smile tentatively and indulgently at Wei Wuxian and he knew the other loved it, he had felt it in fact.

"Wei Ying..." he tried again to calm the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple down. He hated to see him in such a state and was at a loss of what else he could do to help.

This time around, the call had been acknowledged. Although in a different way than he had expected and hoped.

He more felt than saw Wei Wuxian sitting upright. The atmosphere around him suddenly shifted into something way colder and much less welcoming. For a space of the longest second Lan Wangji had ever lived, the world seemed to have stopped and waited in tense silence together with him.

How would Wei Wuxian reply to him? Would he go back to acting as he had done since yesterday, cold and reserved and pushing Lan Wangji away, or would he behave as he had in his dreams? Though that would be a lottery as well since the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple from the visions already had way too many faces: a happy-go-lucky teenager, a broken young man, a terrifying and hated-by-all Yiling Patriarch, a calm and somewhat subdued youth who was tormented by his past but still managed to enjoy life to the fullest. Which one would greet Lan Wangji this time?

"Second Young Master Lan, what are you doing here?" Wei Wuxian asked. His voice was as cold as ever, displeased and full of disapproval.

Lan Wangji's heart fell. It looked like the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple was for reasons which completely escaped his understanding and imagination back to his previous behaviour. It was almost like his nightmares never existed in the first place. As if he did not know who Lan Wangji was and treated him like a stranger who had just broken uninvited into his room at night. It hurt.