Your dreams

Chapter 14

Through the haze in his head, Lan Wangji unsteadily got to his feet. He had seen enough and he felt like he could not bear anymore. If everything he was seeing were in fact Wei Wuxian's memories, or even if they were premonition dreams of his future, no one was supposed to go through so much pain in their lifetime. He had to do something to help the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple.

How? He had no idea, he just needed to be by his side. And that was right now.

Lan Wangji was seeing all red. The resentful energy was raging inside of his body and making even breathing an impossible feat. Its whispers had transformed into screams and it was hard to have a single clear thought. His heart had already been broken into million pieces after seeing ashes of his two best friends – and siblings – being scattered into the wind. As if they were some criminals. Eyes of the whole cultivation world were piercing him at that moment, full of hatred and murderous intent.

Lan Wangji's mind was still being flooded by images of events which had not yet happened and it was hard for him to concentrate on anything else. He pushed through though and did his best to stagger to the edge of the rooftop he had been until then sitting on. His depth perception was greatly perturbed, but luckily, he still remembered just how deep down the ground was. His landing was less than graceful; not that it mattered anyhow, it was late after curfew and there was no one around to see him. And even if there was, just let them see, Lan Wangji had more important places to be.

Lan Wangji was being carried away by someone. There was a known fragrance in the air, however, where it had before made him comfortable, it now irritated him to no end. He could hear a familiar voice, but he could not make sense of the words. Or was the other even speaking? Perhaps they were screaming, just like him.

He fought tooth and nail to escape the suffocating imprisonment. He needed to go back and rescue what he still could of the remains scattered in the wind. The strong hands around him only let go after a very long time, when he had already depleted all his physical forces and his voice was hoarse from screaming. "Go away! Leave me alone!" He was pushing the other person away with all his might.

Lan Wangji staggered through the short distance between the building he had been sitting on top of and the infirmary. He did not remember the distance being so long before. He gritted his teeth and pushed on. He knew that Wei Wuxian needed him. He was sure of it with the same certainty as that the sun would go up in the east every morning without a fail. His heart was urging him to hurry more and more.

Lan Wangji opened his eyes in complete darkness. It took him a minute to realize that it was in fact not so dark. There was moonlight coming in through cracks in the door and windows. He had no idea where exactly he was or what he was doing here. Suddenly, the door burst open and someone kicked him to his chest so hard that he lost his breath and on top of it, was also propelled onto the ground. He coughed laboriously, squinting his eyes at the intruders.

Lan Wangji only barely noticed that the moonlight disappeared and the night got a lot darker. The moon was now shadowed by clouds and he almost missed the door handle. Almost. Of course, he remembered where it was and threw the door open as soon as he got hold of it. He was in such a hurry that he did not even knock, ignoring how inappropriately and impolitely his entrance could be perceived. If Wei Wuxian had not been glaring at him before this, he surely would start disliking him even now.

Why though, a small part of Lan Wangji's brain pondered. It was clear from those visions that the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple had been quite friendly with the older version of Lan Wangji. If friendly was even the correct word. More like infatuated really. He could feel it very well during those few visions which were less violent and hurtful and which were starring the older version of Lan Wangji who was smiling at the boy called Mo Xuanyu.

Upon this realization, Lan Wangji had another, even deeper, one.

Not only was Wei Wuxian apparently in love with him, but Lan Wangji returned the feelings. Not only was this true for the Lan Wangji from the visions, but for himself as well. He had thought that it had been just protectiveness, but seeing those two adult men together in his dreams, his own heart was now full of conflicting feelings and emotions.

He was well aware that he only knew Wei Wuxian for but a day, nevertheless, he could not fool himself into believing that he did not know the other well. He had just seen so many visions, so many memories, it was impossible to think otherwise. He had just witnessed Wei Wuxian's whole life, whether the person in question was aware of it or not.

Perhaps he did not know, thought Lan Wangji. After all, the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple had been keeping his distance from him at all times – so much unlike during those visions – and refused to even talk to him. The reason for this discrepancy between the dreams and the reality kept escaping Lan Wangji's understanding. All he knew was that Wei Wuxian was hurting and he did not like it.

Lan Wangji felt something hot slowly dripping out of his nose. Bewildered, he raised his hand and widened his eyes when he discovered there was blood on it. The older version of Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng were watching him with shock clear in their eyes.

"Lan Zhan, let us go away," he whispered with difficulty.

His head was pounding painfully and spinning, making the whole world feel out of focus. His lower abdomen was as empty as ever and he was terrified of Jiang Cheng finding out. He truly did not want to deal with his brother right now. And preferably never. This was something he had decided to take with him to his grave.

He heard the sound of Zidian crackling behind his back and wanted to turn around. At this point, confrontation seemed inevitable. His body was however apparently in much worse shape than he was willing to admit. His knees gave out under him and his eyes closed against his will. Only a steady hand around his waist was keeping him from falling down and cracking his head open like an overripe melon.

The inside of the infirmary was pitch dark, even darker than outside. Lan Wangji minutely lamented not being prepared and not having a fire talisman with him. He however quickly recovered and continued to where he remembered the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple's bed was. It was not hard to find it despite the darkness. Wei Wuxian was faintly whimpering and the rustling of sheets caused by fitful sleep was filling the room. It did not matter that Lan Wangji could not see quite right because of always more and more images invading his sight.

He followed those sounds until his outstretched hand could feel another person's warmth. The whimpering intensified and Lan Wangji could now recognize a few words of begging and calling of his name. It was going together with the visions of a massacre of some elderly people in the Qishan Wen sect clothing.

Lan Wangji did not hesitate even for a second. It was the nightmares which were causing the Yunmeng Jiang sect head disciple so much distress and it was time to end it. Lan Wangji's hand found Wei Wuxian's shoulder and he shook it decisively.

"Wei Ying!" he called at the same time. Using the name he had just heard so many times in the visions felt only natural.