Pretty Broken Butterfly

She Sparked Hope

I tug my hair as I pace back and forth, the tears pouring hotly down my face. Emotions collide inside of me and they're pulling me in so many directions that I'm going to break apart into a million pieces.

Charlie's orgasmic cry sounds out over and over in my ears as image after image of Alek's ass flexes with each thrust between my girl's thighs assault my mind.

With a roar, I grab the lamp off the end table and throw it against the wall, moving to the next one to do the same when the rage continues to build inside of me. My bare knuckles meet the drywall of my new apartment walls repeatedly, leaving behind holes with traces of skin and blood. New furniture gets overturned, dishes get shattered, and one of my twenty-five pound weight meets my sixty-five inch television.

As fast as it came, my anger dissipates when I grab the one photo of Charlie I have left and I drop to my knees in the middle of my destruction.

I suppose everyone gets a visit from Karma eventually. Mine was bound to happen. It was only a matter of when.

I'm doing my best to be a good guy. A better person for her—for me. A better person could say that they're happy for her, that they're glad she's moving on after the hell I've put her through for three years. So maybe I've not come as far as I've thought, because I can't bring myself to say that.

I fucking hate it.

I fucking hate him.

Alek has everything I want. Everything I had and was too goddamn stupid to keep.

I should be thankful to him for helping her move on and, somewhere inside me, I am. I fucking am. But I can't find that part of me right now. Right now, I just want to feel his skin under my fists as I beat the shit out of him for having something that's mine.

She's really not, though. Not anymore.

I've known it since the night of the pool house, but this video, watching them together and the bond they have, nothing could spell that out for me more.

Charlie is finally starting to find the pieces of who she is outside of me and I'd be even more of a selfish bastard than I already am if I did anything to fuck that up.

So, even if it kills me inside every day, even if it steals a piece of my soul each day, I'm going to let her live her life with him.

For now, anyway.

There's still shit I have to do to be worthy of her. Shit I have to figure out and learn. Until I'm the guy that deserves her, the one that can love her unconditionally and see her and only her, then I have no business interrupting my Charlie girl spreading her wings and learning to fly.

Sniffing, I swipe my cheek on my shoulder to dash away the tears as I gaze down at the photo in my hand and run my finger over her smiling face. "Enjoy him while you can, my pretty butterfly. Because I'm coming for you eventually," I murmur.

I climb to my feet and gently set the picture on the counter before glancing around the apartment.

There definitely won't be any deposit back on this place if I decide to move out of it. The damage is all cosmetic, but holy fuck, it's extensive. I can't believe I didn't realize I was so far gone. The anger that overtook me was fast, and it was scary, but as I stand here and look at the destruction it left behind, I just feel empty.

All it does is remind me of the sad state of my life and the woman I miss more than breathing.

Watching the video of Charlie and Alek gave me a better understanding of what she was feeling when she saw me in the pool house with Rhianna.