ALWAYS HIM.

CHAPTER 13

Don't you think love is a strange emotion. For me it is. I have never been in love before so I don't know how people reacts to this feeling but I am sure of one thing that it not just attraction or infatuation. It is more. Its something real which has  complete control over my heart. Whenever I think about him my heart starts racing as if it is being chased by something. I have never observed someone as deeply as I have observed him. They way his eyes twinkle Whenever he smiles at something he likes. How he gets annoyed when someone starts asking him too much questions. I think I have memorised every expression of his face. Anger, laughter  frown, mischief, almost everything. If I share this with someone people might call it obsession because I notice each and every damn little thing when it comes to Aaron. But it's not obsession. When you are obsessed with something or rather someone you want them at any cost. Even though they won't share the same feelings. So I am sure I am not obsessed with him. I want him in my life. So damn much that I can do whatever it takes to just be with him but if he doesn't feel the same then I can't just force my feelings on him. His happiness matters the most even if it is with someone else. Just the thought of him with a girl other than me is making my heart burn. But I guess I have to deal with it. For him and for me.

I turned in my bed and saw time on my phone. Its 1 am now. I have been trying to fall asleep since two hours atleast but all my thoughts are running to him. About how I am falling in love with him. I got up from the bed and went out of my room to drink some water. I went straight into kitchen and took a bottle from fridge. As I am coming out my eyes caught a silhouette in the balcony. Whoever it is must be in deep thought as she didn't notice me approaching her.

"Ash? What are you doing here at this time"? She got startled and turned her head to look at me. Her face is looking tired and her eyes are puffy.

"Can't sleep. So I thought I should get some air". She replied focusing again on the buildings infront.

"Why? Everything okay? And don't give me crap about Yes I am fine. Its just college stuff. I want truth". I said sternly. Ashley was very upset from last two days. Whenever we asked anything to her she replied with I am fine. Its just college and all but I know its not just that. There is something going with her and its disturbing her a lot. I can see it in her eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you guys about it but I don't even know what is going on with me". She sighed.

"What happened Ash"? I placed my hand on her shoulder and asked her softly. She turned in my direction.

"I have met a guy. He is brother of the owner of book store where I works and I started to like him and I think he likes me back". She said.

"So? What's the problem? Are you disturbed because he is your boss's brother"? I asked.

"No that's not the problem. My boss is fine. You know she is not those strict kind of woman". She asked her head.

"Then"? I asked.

"He is six years older than me". She said sadly.

"Ok. Again I don't get what's the problem"? I asked.

"Age Anna. Age is the problem. I can't approach him because he is older than me and he can't do the same as I am just eighteen years old". She said.

"Listen Ash. You like this guy right"? I asked.

"Yes Anna. I really really do". She replied.

"Then just follow your heart babe. When you like or love someone things like this doesn't matter. Answer me one thing if you and him starts dating will this age difference is going to effect your relationship"? I asked.

"I don't think so. He is a very nice guy and the time I have spent with him was amazing. We never had a problem with the age thing. We talks so easily with each other like you know how sometimes you just click with a person". She said.

"So you have answer for yourself Ash. You only said just now how we sometimes just click with someone as if that's the person we have been waiting for. If you really likes this guy then just talk to him about it rather than overthinking. Now if you let go of the chance and then you are gonna regret it one day and trust me sweetie some regrets are unbearable". I said.

"Thanks Anna for understanding and making me realise it. I will talk to him tomorrow after work". She smiled. Looking at her face my lips turned into smile as well because it feels like I haven't seen her smile like this for so long.

"So what's his name"? I asked.

"His name is Mark. You are going to love him for sure". She replied in excitement.

"Are you okay if I starts loving him"? I teased her.

"I didn't meant in that way and you are not gonna fall for any other guy unless it is Aaron". She laughs.

"By the way why aren't you asleep yet? You were thinking about him. Right"? She raises her eyebrows.

" I feel like my feelings clogging up in my throat and with each passing second it's burdening my chest". I replied.

"I knew it was gonna happen". She muttered.

"What"? I asked.

"You know we have talked about it and we were sure you are going to fall in love with him. We sees how you smiles at your phone whenever you gets a message from him. We were observing things like how your friendship with him has developed since last week". She replied

"Hmm. I don't know what to do right now". I said.

"If you don't want to share your feelings with anyone right now then why don't you just write it down in your journal"? She suggested. I liked her idea. I used to write a journal but I stopped when my days got busy.

"I will think about it". I told Ash. My friends knew about my journal and how I used to write about the things I don't want to share. They have always respected my privacy and never forced me to talk to them but eventually they knows everything as I was the only one who will tell them all my secrets. That's how it is between me and my friends. I have a special bond with someone I can talk to them about my personal life without any hesitation.

"It's late Ash. Go and get some sleep. And don't worry everything will be fine". I said to her.

"I am going but you follow your own words and go to bed. You have work tomorrow". She said.

We both said good night to each other and went to our respective rooms. I am going to follow her idea and starts writing down my feelings so that atleast I feel like my thoughts will not burden my heart anymore.