"Ancient Runes" a Severus Snape ff - Snape x OC

Chapter 23

The knocking distracted him from his book, which he had been engrossed in for several hours. An interesting work about some very rare magical ingredients, with clues as to where to find them and what effects they could have.

"Come in!" he said, almost sounding annoyed. He wasn't really interested in turning away from his book now. The door was carefully opened.

"Severus?" came Lysanna's soft voice from the door. His expression brightened for a moment before returning to his usual stern face.

Lysannaentered the room uncertainly. Something had changed between them since the walk together. Since then, Severus had become very introverted and Lysanna could only assume that he might have similar thoughts as she did. She hadn't wanted to upset him, but she also couldn't make this decision lightly.

Her heart beat faster as she looked into his dark eyes.

"I wanted to say goodbye to you." She said cautiously and for a moment something startled flashed in his eyes. Finally Severus got up, put the book aside and walked towards her.

"Not in the way you think. I'll be back after the holidays, don't worry." Lysanna added with a smile. He just nodded.

"Severus, please...you're really not making it easy for me." She gently tugged at his sleeve to make him come a little closer..

"I know what you are thinking. Don't think I didn't notice you were avoiding me." Lysanna continued undeterred, although Severus just stared at her. She took his hands in hers and took a step towards him. The expressionless look slowly gave way to another facial expression. Again Lysanna recognized the sadness and uncertainty in his eyes. At least he let her see it. It sent a pang to her heart to see him like this. She knew perfectly well that it was only her fault. Seeing him suffer like that made her sad too.

"Severus, talk to me. Just tell me what's on your mind." She almost begged him. She wanted to hear it from him, wanted to know if she was right in her assumption. Now might not have been the right time, but at some point they would have to have this conversation for better or for worse.

"You have to go. Your parents are already waiting for you." Severus tried to escape the conversation.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's on your mind. Please, Severus," Lysanna tried again. He made it anything but easy for her. She was standing directly in front of him now, still holding his hands tightly.

Why couldn't she just leave? Why did she want to have this conversation so badly now? She had a decision to make. After that they could talk, but what use would it be of now? If he told her about his feelings now and she decided to go back to the ministry after all, whom would that help? Nobody and certainly not him. He was just trying to think about Lysanna as little as possible at the moment, just wanted to distract himself. It surely didn't help that she was looking at him with her beautiful blue eyes. Her expression looked sad, but that didn't detract from her beauty.

"Lysanna, it is..." Severus struggled to find the right words to describe what he was feeling. She looked at him intently.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell her what he felt for her.

Without hesitation he just pulled her towards him and wrapped her in a tight hug. He didn't want to let her go, not now and especially not at the end of the school year.

She returned his hug. Although he really longed for this closeness, it didn't actually feel right. He just couldn't handle the situation, the uncertainty.

Lysanna felt bad, that hug must have been Severus' attempt to tell her to stay without actually saying it.

"Give me this one week. I know you understand that it's not an easy decision for me. And I'm beyond grateful that you're still there for me.", she whispered and looked up at him. The dark eyes fixed her without expression.

"One week, Severus. When I come back I'll make a decision." Lysanna explained with a heavy heart. She really didn't want to do that to him, but she had to think of herself too.

"You should go now," Severus stated, his face still expressionless.

The words hit Lysanna, or better said, the way he said them. With a nod she broke away from the hug and headed for the door.

"Lysanna!" She paused without turning around.

"I really like you very much." Severus almost whispered. The words inevitably put a smile on her face.

"Me too.", she replied and looked at him one more time before she left.

Why couldn't he have just told her. He had let her go, no, actually he had even sent her away. He felt more than miserable and even though he went back to his book afterwards, his thoughts were with her.