secrets of ghost hill

eight

"mileena." i was snapped out of my trance. the door to the basement was closed. i leaned against it staring into incessant space.

"are you okay?" i directed my sight to the person in front of me. billie.

a billie that was covered in not one ounce of blood.

"are you okay?" she whispered once more, placing her hand on the side of my neck. i nodded still in a daze.

i wanted to hold back my tears but i couldn't. a silent tear running down my hot cheek at the realization that i was most likely mentally insane.

like mother like daughter.

i pushed billies hand away, but she gently grabbed my arm, holding me back. "hey, what's wrong?" she walked up to me, brushing my tears away with her thumb.

i was tense at her touch.

i couldn't understand why she was treating me like this. not when her reputation told me otherwise.

it told me that she was dangerous so why was she cradling me, caring? i remained quiet. my breath moving at an unsteady speed.

"look at me, mileena." she grabbed me gently. "breathe in, breath out." she demonstrated. "come on, you can do it." her tongue ran over her lips.

a part of me was mentally pleased at the sight of her but another part of me was frightened at the sight of her.

she seemed different. much more different then the woman i interviewed at the asylum. maybe it was the brick walls making her tense.

i could understand how she was feeling. free, untouched. i had felt that many times throughout my life.

times i had escaped my immense depression.

"in and out, angel." her voice was calming. it was rough and hoarse but made me feel relaxed.

the only time i had heard this was from a app. and even then it didn't help. but she did, she was.

my shoulders were slumped, breaking my tensed posture. my breath slowed as i followed her words. "good girl." she whispered.

i opened my eyes to see a focused billie. her eyes gazing into mine. blue on green. ocean against forest.

as she gazed, it felt as if she was reading me. reading the story in my eyes. the story each different color of green told.

and i didn't like it. i didn't like when people tried to read me. tried to understand me.

i was broken. that was it.

my childhood was taken from me. and it wasn't fair. sent to therapists left and right by my mother who said she'd never make me go again.

she was the one who needed it. she was the one who needed help.

she promised after the first session i would never have to go again. i didn't need it. i was good at keeping things in.

my therapist said it wasn't good, that one day all the things i held in would implode and possibly destroy me but i ignored her.

id destroy those around me before i destroyed myself. i loved me entirely too much. and i would never listen to a hypocrite.

she had problems of her own. anyone could see it, she was as clear as glass. i wasn't about to let her tell me what was morally right or wrong.

i wanted to be in control for once but i wasn't. never could be.

i ripped my eyes from billie. loathing what she might have discovered about me. my vision took sight to the camera above us and i swiftly moved from her grasp.