I don't give a damn about my reputation

Why cant you just love me?!

Bruce POV

"Why can't you be a girl?"

I won't lie by saying his words didn't hurt. Because they did. They really hurt. Like. Really hurt.

"How could you say something like that?" I whisper, attempting to mask the hurt in my voice

"Am I wrong? If you were a girl, my life would be so much easier."

I push him away, my back hitting the chipped bricks behind me. I watch as his brows furrowed, taking another step towards me, limiting my space.

"It would be. So. Much. Fucking. Easier."

"Well I'm not. Okay?" I snapped "You are gay, Vance. And you need to start admitting it, because if you don't, it's going to eat away at you. Nibbling at you until you are nothing but an empty shell of self hatred. Forever hating yourself for hiding."

He looked taken aback. I might as well have slapped him.

"Oh. I'm not the one who hates themselves, Yamada." He sneered "All those practice games, all those hours of relentless training, all those hours you  spend staring into the mirror, telling yourself that this is for the best, that you'll learn to love baseball. That daddy's cruel words were for the better."

He moved his face closed to mine, an evil smirk painted on his face

"You keep telling yourself that it will eventually be better. That if you maintain a "good boy" record, your life will be better. Fucking news flash, Bruce. It's not. Your so caught up in your little reputation, that you don't even know who you are."

Every word that left his mouth was laced in venomous cruelty. Desperately trying to dig at me. But I know he doesn't mean it.

He doesn't mean it

Right?

"Beats being a fucking loser." I spit back " Atleast I am liked, and I have a future. I wish I could say the same for you. But then I'd be lying. You have no potential, at all. You might swing your fists and stomp around for attention. But you will never be liked. No one. Likes you. Everyone,"

I take a step forward

"Thinks"

He stumbles backwards

"That you are"

I feel my fists clenched beside me

"A complete"

Vance's back presses the opposite wall as I take another step

"Fucking"

I watch his face flash with sadness

"Screw up"

Before I can react, I feel a firm pair of hands grip my throat, slamming me into the floor. They tighten around my neck, the oxygen slowly draining from my lungs

"Vance!" I gasp "Get off of me. You're hurting me!"

"Oh I'm hurting you?!" He screams "I'm fucking hurting you?!"

"Get off me!"

"Am I fucking hurting you, Yamada?! Are you in pain?!"  He taunts, spit flying from his mouth

I reach towards a rock on the floor, my other hand desperately trying to remove the restriction around my neck. In a single swing, I strike Vance in the head, crawling away from him as he falls.

"You hit me?!" He cries "With a fucking rock?!"

"Fuck you!" I scream, my face painted in tears

"I'm bleeding?!" He bellows, a coat of fresh blood in his hair "I'm fucking bleeding!"

"You were strangling me?!" I blubbered, my chest rapidly rising and falling

"Why?!" I plea " Why can't you just love me?!"

"I'm trying!" He yells "I'm trying, all the time. All the fucking time."

Trying?

"Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?" I whisper, his head tilting down towards the floor

"They warned me about you. They fucking warned me. They warned me over and over and over and I chose to ignore them."

"Would do you mean. They warned-

"Did I mean anything to you?" I ask "anything at all?"

I watch his face change at the question, his fists clenching against the stone floor"

"You meant something. Once."

Author note

Hehehehehe angst makes me sad af and now I'm gonna go rethink my life choices. Enjoy 😉