the uglee hippo

new plan

because of her shame, misery, despair, and humiliation at handsome squidward's untimely death, the orka let the hippo go. the hippo was very sad because despite getting plastic surgery he was still despicable to the eye... and he knew he had to do something about it... and quick.

But alas, that must wait as currently he was giving a speech at squid's funeral.

"he was like soo nice, and sexy- i mean handsome... he ispired me to get surgery actually. squidward was a lifelong friend and i miss him soo much... yeah" the hippo said and recieved a standing ovation.

he left the funeral in high spirits, as after all he was alive. old sqiddy had sacraficed himself so he could survive... how nice of him.

the ugly hippo returned to his natural habitat, antarctica, where he sat in the snow watching as the penguins grinded on each other. he found himself being super jealous because all the dudes had girlfriends

"hm how do i get myself a cute penguin chick" he said outloud. the uglyy hippo looked at himself again, his cheecks deflating when he say his disgustingness "no one will ever love me"

he began to cry. loud.

Suddenly, a prilliant idea came to his peanut sized head. in fact, it was so brilliant that the hippo couldnt believe he hadnt thought of it before

"ill become a woman!!"

the plan was flawless. as a woman, anyone of the male species would automatically want to bang, and he would finally be content. cisgender heterosexual alpha male things

the hippo got off of his sorry ass and began sprinting as fast as the stones in his ass would allow, straight towards the nearest makeup salon. antarctica had loads, i mean, why do you think all the female penguins are so delightful????

for the first time in forever, the uglee hippo had hope (forget the plastic surgery ples)

read to find out if the hippo's plan works...
written by leech xoxo