hold you, hold on

slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while

The feeling that I'm losing her forever,

And without really entering her world

I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter, that funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it, slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by,

Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures?
The places I had planned for us to go?

Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why? I just don't know..

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it, slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture, and save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..

.......

This is my mom and I's song, it's been since I was little, and it's a little weird but as I grew older i think I started loosing sight of who's who

I'm just gonna drop this here because it's late and I'm emotional but the more I grow the more this song resonates with me and brings me to tears, with each year that goes by I feel like I'm loosing her more and more
And it's silly, she's my mom, she's there for me and I'm there for her and it's been like that for as long as I can remember, I've been by her side the whole time and I've seen her grow so much as a person, and it's crazy because I was so young, and most of the time I just didn't get it, but looking back I literally saw her become a completly different person before my eyes, twice

And it's like. Absolutely horrible to say I feel like, I definetly don't miss the first, but god do I miss the second.

There was a brief period in our lives when it was really just the two of us, there were people around us but it was just her and me against the world, and it sucked and it was really fucking hard, but I think I spent some of the most meaningful moments of my life there with her, and even though we were scared and lost and didn't know what to do, a part of me still wishes it was just the two of us again, sitting in our balcony at night next to the laundry, talking about life, and how much it sucked and how afraid we were of it and how weird everything was, and I would complain about my dad and she would say she didn't recognize him, and she said he was behaving like a child and I said that was meant to be my role, and we'd make a joke dissing him and cry for a bit

I want to write more of our memories soon, I miss having those moments of just pure honesty with her, I feel like I can't catch a second to talk to her anymore, I wish we could just sit on the floor like we used to do when we didn't have tables or chairs and eat lunch and complain about life together again

[December 14, 12:19am] (we're good btw, we're safe, and we're figuring things out with everyone else as best as we can, we want this family to work and we're doing our best to try and make it work, but I still miss her)