clementine // joshler

59

josh's point of view

"wow, that good, huh?"

"it's just different when you love someone that deeply i guess. i've never felt this way before, you know?" i look up from my plate to see hayley looking at me with a soft smile.

"i do. i'm happy for you, j. tyler's great and i think you guys are great together." she smiles a little wider and then points her fork at me. "plus, he works at my favorite restaurant and man, i was craving some of this-" she stops mid sentence, her eyes going wide. "holy shit. joshua, i mean it, do not turn around."

of course, when she says it like that, i have to turn around.

"what do you-"

debby.

my head whips back around to face hayley and i feel myself begin to painc just a little. i don't want to see her. and i don't want her to see me.

hayley seems to read my mind, speaking quietly now. "i don't think she's seen us yet. just keep your head down. when tyler comes to check on us again, we can ask for to-go boxes and just get the hell outta dodge."

"oh my god. they're going to talk. he's going to take her order. i'm gonna throw up."

"hey, it's okay, seriously." she reaches across the table to take one of my hands in hers. "deep breaths. i'll keep an eye over there but it looks like she's doing a pickup anyway. she'll be gone in a minute."

we sit in a tense silence for a moment and i try (but fail) to think about literally anything else.

"he handed her the boxes. she's leaving." she squeezes my hand one more time and then lets go to take a sip of her water while i run a hand down my face.

"jesus."

just a moment later, tyler comes over and sits down next to me.

i rest my head on his shoulder and sigh, but i already feel a little better being close to him.

he wraps an arm around me and kisses the top of my head. it's a strange bit of role-reversal, but i don't mind it.

"hey, j. you alright?"

"he's having a crisis," hayley says.

"what about? is everything okay?" tyler asks, moving his hand up to play with my hair.

hayley looks to me to answer, but i stay quiet. i don't want to say her name.

hayley sighs. "so, the girl that just left with the boxes was, um... that was..." her voice trails off. she doesn't want to say it either.

"oh."

"yeah."

"i mean, i saw the name on the order, i guess i just didn't, um... i thought she went to study abroad or something?"

"she did."

"i don't know why she's back. i don't want to ever see her again. i'm going to hide in my apartment from here on out," i finally speak.

tyler kisses the top of my head again. "josh, it's gonna be okay. i'm sure she's just here for spring break or something. i doubt she's staying permanently," he says, doing his best to reassure me.

"i just checked her socials. apparently, she's only here for a funeral," hayley adds, putting her phone down.

"see? she won't be here long. you won't have to see her," tyler tells me.

i sit up and bury my face in my hands. "i'm sorry."

"for what, babe?" hayley asks.

"i don't know. freaking out?"