Preface

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December 20th, 2014.

08:00

My little turtle.

After reading this, you'll probably not understand. You may never do. You will probably resent me. Feel angry. Disgusted. Betrayed. With some time and tears, you might eventually heal and forget me.

I don't mind.

Trust me when I say never meant to hurt you. Not you, not the family, I never wanted my life to take this turn. If I had a choice, being away from you would be my very last resort.

I know I always tend to use the word « trust » quite loosely, so I'll just hope you find it in your heart, the strength to believe me one more time.

In the next few days, you will hear about me. They will call me a coward after what I am about to do. No matter what is said about me, about us, I will need you to stay strong, proud and remember our worth. Our family depends on it.

Take the money in the sock attached to this letter. Don't use it now and don't let anyone know. You will need it to build the future I couldn't give you and our family.

I've chosen you to carry the weight of my last words, because I always knew how special you were. I've seen it in your eye, the soul of a lion. It surounds you with a light neither Anta, mom, dad, or me possess. You will carry my shameful legacy and make it something big and royal.

I don't have much time in front of me, and i can't bring myself to explain everything to you in this letter. The guilt would kill me.

Instead, I want to spend these last few minutes remembering the joy, the laughs and the peace my family has brought me. I want to make sure this lasts as a memory of me, even stained by my terrible actions.

I know how unfair it is, but don't ruin yourself trying to understand what happened. I want our family to think that deep down, I was a good boy and I did not deserved what occurred to me.

Hali, you are a better person than I could ever hope to be.

Some days, it will get better.

Haru, your dearest brother.

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