The Sleeper's Harp (The Arcane Artifacts, #1)

Chapter 22 - A Taste of Sugar

I whined, heart pounding, trying to catch my breath. My fingers wrapped around his head, pressing him more firmly to me, even though I'd just come. I didn't want it to stop.

But it did, his movements eventually ceased, fingers slipping out of me. He looked up, a smug smile curving his lips. The sight of them, moistened and swollen had me tightening all over again. I glanced down to the surface of the water, to below it, where I could just make out the gray head of his cock. My breath hitched.

A low, laughing grumble brought my eyes back to his. "Not tonight, Sugar."

But...I opened my mouth. "What do you mean, not tonight. You aren't going to let me return the favor?"

"It wasn't a favor. I just took what I wanted."

I gave a dismissive snort. "I seem to recall agreeing."

"Even still."

"That's not fair at all, and you know it."

His jaw tightened. "When I fuck you, Eleanor, it's going to be harsh, and unrestrained."

"That's a bullshit excuse, Bastian. You think I don't want that?"

"You've been hurt before. I don't want to hurt you—"

"You won't!" It was something else, and he wasn't telling me.

"I said, not tonight, Eleanor. Do not push me on this—please." The last word. The openness in his eyes, the pleading I saw there, made my chest sink.

I swallowed, then nodded. "All...all right. But...you will, right? At some point in the future? Or was this it?" I hated how...disappointed my voice sounded.

Bastian ran a hand over the shaved part of his head. "I'm not ready, Eleanor."

That wasn't an answer. I clenched my teeth, trying to ignore the unsettling flop of my stomach at being rejected. A piercing needle of anger hit me. "I thought fuck boys were all about casual sex, one-night stands." The words were out before I could stop them.

Bastian flinched, the moment subtle, but I caught it. His mouth pressed into a line, eyes tightening. "There is absolutely nothing casual about us. If I take this further, a single step further, there will be no going back." I opened and closed my mouth—hesitated. Damn it. He was right. He didn't do relationships, and I was too scared to allow myself to fall into another one. I knew even now, after only a few days with him, that if I gave myself to him entirely, it would break my heart to end things. And yet, if I stayed with him, my heart could break just as easily. "You see now?" he prompted.

I swallowed. "I don't accept this—"

"You don't have a choice. I said I wasn't ready, and you need to respect that."

My stomach dropped. I wasn't interested in forcing him. That wasn't what this was about. I just didn't understand...

"Is this because of the human thing? Does your mistrust of humans, your dislike for them, have something to do with this?"

He shook his head. "No, it's simply that I feel too much for you. If I have you, I will own you. If I own you, you will be mine. I warned you, did I not? I will not relinquish that which is mine."

"I'm not property, Bastian. I'm not a possession—"

"Which is exactly why we cannot go any further. I don't do relationships for a reason. I'm a possessive bastard. I know what I am, Eleanor."

"What about the things we can do that aren't sex? Things I can do. Why won't you let me touch you?"

He gave a frustrated growl, backing up several steps. "Because if you so much as lay a finger on my dick, Eleanor, then I'm going to bend you over the side of the pool and fuck your fucking brains out."

I swallowed. That's...exactly what I wanted. And maybe I didn't mind the possessive aspects that might come hand-in-hand with it. But I wasn't sure I could open myself to the relationship that might follow. The heartbreak that would assuredly come. Clearly, he didn't want to either—or was afraid to, because of his tendencies.

Fuck, I was so confused.

"Come on. Let's just...swim. Enjoy our wine."

I hesitated, waiting for the ball to drop. He didn't say anything else, so I did instead. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what I just did to you there?" he asked. I lifted an eyebrow, challenging him. "Not at all, Sugar. I'm quite pleased with myself for that."

I huffed, then slipped off the edge and into the water. "Fine. Let's swim." And that's exactly what we did.