Daughter of the pirate king (an ateez fanfiction)

Chapter 11

Seonghwa leaves me alone for several hours that day. Though my face doesn't hurt anymore (I've always been a fast healer), my stomach aches something fierce from the want of food. It's been a day and a half since I've eaten. I try to imagine I'm home at the keep, attending one of Father's grand feasts. He'll have every kind of meat imaginable, from pork to beef to fowl. My mouth waters at the imagined taste of steamed vegetables and sweetened fruits. Pies and wine. Bread and cheese. If they don't feed me today, I'll have to risk sneaking down to the kitchens tonight. But I needn't have worried. I can smell something hot and delicious from the other side of the door. As soon as Seonghwa enters, I pluck one of the bowls out of his hand. "Careful," he says, "it's still hot." I don't care. I burn a spot on my tongue as I take a few gulps of the soup. I hardly even taste it as the liquid burns all the way down to my stomach. When my bowl is drained, I grab the other one in Seonghwa's hand and start on it. "I'm sorry. I hadn't realized how long it'd been since you'd eaten. You should've said something." I don't look his way while I eat. I've enough food in me now to patiently use the spoon and blow on the soup. My teeth eagerly bite into the vegetables and potatoes in the mix. When I've finished the second bowl, I drop it to the ground and retreat to the bed. I still feel weaker than usual. It might be midday, but something tells me I could drift off now and sleep all the way until morning. Too many nights with too little sleep. 

My eyes are closed, but I can hear Seonghwa moving around the room. "What are you doing?" "Trying to clean up your mess." "Could you do it more quietly? I'm trying to sleep. I've had a rough couple of days, you know." He snorts, but the rustling sound of cleaning still continues. "Good idea, you cleaning the room and all," I say. "I'll need something to do tomorrow." There's a loud slam as he throws down whatever he'd been holding. My eyes fly open as Seonghwa hauls me up by my arms. "What are you doing?" I demand. "You cannot keep touching me as though I'm a small child you can pick up and move whenever you want to." "If you insist on continually acting like a child, then there is no reason why I shouldn't treat you as one." "What on Maneria are you talking about?" "My room!" He huffs. "Look at it. It's filthy. Half of my things are ruined, thanks to your damned drawings. I ought to toss you overboard!" "You locked me up in here! What did you think would happen? You should toss yourself over for being a complete idiot. And if you wanted me punished, then you should have let the captain continue on with me instead of asking him to stop!" "Are you complaining because I helped you?" "I had things under control." "Just yesterday you were making a fuss because I didn't stick up for you. You can't have it both ways! So pick one!" "What do you care what I want? Why don't you have the balls to do what you want?" Seonghwa sighs and looks heavenward. 

"Stop doing that." "Doing what?" "You're a woman. Act like it. You shouldn't be saying such foul—" "I'll say whatever I please. I'm not a lady, I'm a pirate!" "Well, you shouldn't be!" "And why's that? I'm plenty good at it." "Because pirates aren't supposed to look like you look and talk like you talk and do what you do. You're confusing, and it's messing with my head." "How is that my fault? I'm sure your head was plenty messed up before I came along." I can feel Seonghwa's breath in my face. He's so close and so angry, I almost want to laugh. "No, it wasn't," he insists. 

Then he's kissing me.

What the—I misread where that was going. I wanted to irritate him. To get under his skin. To mess with him because he's working for the enemy. I hadn't exactly expected him to get all mushy as a result. But then again, I can't exactly describe this as mushy. It's pure irritation expressed as a physical need. Interesting. I've kissed many men, pirates and land dwellers alike. Normally it happens right before I'm about to steal something from them. Or because I'm bored. Right now I'm not sure I have an excuse. In fact, I'm sure there are several reasons why I shouldn't be kissing him. I just can't think of them at the moment. Perhaps it's because Seonghwa's lips taste even better than I'd imagined. Or because his hands make my skin tingle where they hold the sides of my face. Maybe it's the thrill of doing something my father wouldn't approve of. I mean, he's not exactly the overprotective type. He couldn't care less about my dalliances. But he would most definitely be upset if he knew I was kissing the enemy, especially when I've nothing to gain from it. No, wait, that's not true. It could definitely benefit me to have the first mate wrapped around my finger. 

When Seonghwa's lips move down to my neck, I forget all about my father. There's nothing except heat and chills all at once. He reaches the hollow at the base of my neck, and I let out a soft moan. He returns to my lips with a new intensity. The burned spot on my tongue tingles when he traces it with his own. I rip out the band that holds together his hair and run my fingers through it. The moment is perfect. But the thought hits me like a hammer: This shouldn't be perfect. In fact, it isn't. I've gone too long without proper sleep and food. It's making me act like a silly tavern wench. I can't do this. I have thieving to do. It is with great effort, not the physical kind, that I push Seonghwa away. His chest is heaving up and down. I'm sure mine is, too. "That's enough of that," I say. "You're bleeding again," Seonghwa says, touching a spot on my cheek. I hadn't felt the cut reopen. "Probably your fault." "As I'm sure you believe most things are." "Of course." He smiles and starts to lean down again, and I'm so very tempted to let him close the distance. Wouldn't be so hard if he wasn't so good at this. Instead, I say, "I said that's enough." He steps away from me quickly, as though he doesn't trust himself to be near me. "I have duties to perform," he says, turning around. "I'm sure."

I wish I didn't have to wait until nightfall to continue searching the ship. All I have to do when I'm left alone is think. And thinking is the last thing I want to do right now. I'd rather be punching something. Mingi comes in later to bring me another meal. I smile once he retreats. Seonghwa's a coward. He doesn't want to face me right now. Perhaps that kiss was a good idea. It'll certainly be worth watching him squirm later. I get in a quick nap so I'll be ready by nightfall. It was tempting to go rightback to sleep once I awoke, but I have no time to waste now that Hongjoong and his crew are heading for my father. It's late when Seonghwa enters the room again. He looks surprised to see me. "Oh, I thought you'd be asleep." "You mean you were hoping," I say with a smile. "And miss out on whatever snappy comment you have ready for me? Not a chance." "I don't have a snappy comment prepared." "That's a shame. I was rather hoping for a repeat of what happened after the last one." "I'm sure. Unfortunately for you, I'm a bit tired." "Then why aren't you asleep?" "I was getting there." "Looks more like you were waiting for me." Oh please. Maybe I should knock him out for the night. I can't do that, though. He'd remember in the morning. I'd be all out of explanations if I knocked him out but stayed on the ship. I can't leave until I have that blasted ever-elusive map! 

"Just go to sleep, Seonghwa. Here." I get off the bed and sit in the chair instead. "You're going to sleep there?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because I want to, all right? What's with all the questions?" "I'm your interrogator, remember?" "Right now you're off duty, so go to sleep." "Why do you so desperately want me to drift off? Hoping to climb in bed after I'm out?" "Actually, I want the silence that comes after." Seonghwa looks about the room. "You know, it's really difficult for me to sleep knowing how filthy my room is. Maybe I'll stay up until you conk out." I don't have time for this. And I can't risk pretending to fall asleep until he does. I might actually drift off, and that would be a whole night wasted. I'm irritated. And perhaps if I weren't so irritated, I wouldn't have jumped so quickly to this solution. But I'm impatient after sitting around all day. I had my face pummeled. I'm still cranky for the want of sleep, and, honestly, I'm still hungry. So I begin to sing. The melody is deep and soothing. I can feel my whole body humming with energy as it drifts out of me. I can feel every place in the room. The way the sound bounces off the wood, seeps into the blankets, enters Seonghwa's ears. He steps closer, trying to hear the tune better. I indulge him by removing the distance for him. I take his hand and lead him to the bed. He follows, captured by my spell. 

I know what Seonghwa wants in life. Love and acceptance. I weave those into the song and command him to sleep and forget that he ever heard me sing. He has no choice but to obey.