Unmatched Hatred

Chapter 29

The grief in his eyes seemed unbearable.

"Did you ever tell her? About your feelings?" I inquired.

"No, but it is all too late now. She is obsessed with Draco and he doesn't seem to mind."

"Did Parkinson ever know Malfoy... you know... liked me?"

It was likely an unnecessary question... a question which would have no benefit to our current situation. Whether she knew or not, it would not affect anything.

"I don't think she ever caught on," he told me, "Though, Draco used to talk about you... a lot. Not in the bad kind of way though."

"I'm sure he talks bad about me frequently now though, right?" I chuckled, quite sure I already knew the answer.

"Well... I think he prefers to pretend he never knew you. He avoids ever mentioning your name actually."

I had a hard time believing that but I didn't question him any further.

Today has been an absolute train wreck with some much drama in just a few hours. I still could not bring myself to face the reality that me and Parkinson were no longer best friends. So sudden was this horrific turn of events. I did not even bother wondering what was going to happen from here towards the future.

"Well I would not worry too much about over either of them," I stated, "They're a bunch of bloody idiots."

"I suppose you're right..."

I knew Blaise could not help how he felt towards Parkinson. Not only did she hurt me, she hurt Blaise as well. I also could not even begin to fathom all he was going through within him at the moment. A harsh battle between sick love and the cold truth.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I sounded foolish. A "sorry" would not fix anything. My sympathy would not cure his suffering.

"Maybe we should collectively agree to just stay away from them both," suggested Blaise.

"It will be best for the both of us." I agreed.

I smiled kindly at Blaise, hoping I have at least helped him in some way.
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I don't hate you. I loathe you. I despise you. I want to see you suffer and beg for mercy. I want nothing but the failure of you.

How could I ever consider for a moment, or even a second, that Malfoy would ever change his ways? How could I ever consider that possibly Malfoy did not hate me after all? I knew it. I just knew Malfoy despised me. He had me fooled for a short while, but I will not be fooled any longer. His words last night were crystal clear, and I would never forgive him. Though, his repulsive feelings towards me had to be there for a much different reason than my relationship with Harry. I am sure he has formulated a reason of his own, but I do not care to know. Malfoy's thoughts and actions were unknown to me, and were probably better kept that way.

I attempted my best to keep from letting last night's events trouble me throughout the day. I tried to let my mind astray to other thoughts, like how it was the second day back at Hogwarts or how I was still considering trying out for Quidditch, simply because Harry seemed to love it so much.

Just so happening to be at the perfect timing, I saw Harry heading to his first class of the day. I speed-walked to catch up with him in the halls.

"Harry! You won't believe what happened last night!" I spoke breathlessly after catching up with him.

"Oh, hello Holly. What happened?" he asked.

"Do you think I could possibly tell you somewhere else?"

I realized I was trying to speak over the noisy congregation. In fact, I could hardly comprehend my own, inner thoughts through all the loud conversations which floated in the halls and around me and Harry.

"You may tell me later, but I must get to class now," he explained, trotting away without a goodbye.

Well that was weird. He has ten minutes before class. He was not running late or anything.

I supposed I would tell him at lunch, if he were willing to listen. I continued walking until I felt the gentle touch of a hand on my shoulder. To my upmost relief, it was Blaise and Kasper.

" I told Kasper everything," said Blaise, "about what happened last night."

I took pleasure in the thought of not having to explain myself all over again. I nodded in a grateful manner.

"How illegal do you think casting an unforgiveable curse on the whole lot of them would be?" remarked Kasper, causing a laugh to emerge from me.

"Let's not think too much about it, though I'm not too terribly against revenge," I smirked with a tasteful thought in mind.

"I suggest we focus on getting to class first," offered Blaise, slightly concerned.

We all had Transfiguration as the first class of the day. Blaise, Kasper, and I proceeded that way, discussing the Triwizard Tournament, and who we thought should enter. I did not know how it came to be, but I was grateful for Blaise and Kasper bonding with each other. Kasper has never really had a friend at Hogwarts, so Blaise's friendly company was much appreciated. Luckily, Blaise is not a backstabber.

We made it to class just in time and I seated myself next to Hermione. Blaise and Kasper sat next to each other in the very back row.

"Good morning!" Hermione cheerfully said.

I replied just the same, then class had begun with the tapping of Professor McGonagall's wand on the podium.

I glanced at Harry, who sat right in front of me in next to Ron. I remembered last year how Harry would get in trouble for turning around in his desk and smiling at me during class. It was as if I were a poem, and he could not stop reading me. Though, as I weirdly suspected, he only gave the class–and Ron–his attention. Perhaps he did not know I was behind him. Instead of Harry watching me, however, I sensed a different pair of eyes transfixed upon me. I spotted Malfoy from the corner of my eye. My heart skipped a beat or two. His gaze was piercing, like those of a vulture. I turned my full attention to his unworthy eyes, but he didn't look away quickly as I suspected he would. He lifted at his eyebrows at me with his cocky expression, communicating with his facial gestures what he could not say aloud. I turned away with a disgusted glare and whispered over to Hermione. He just could not keep his eyes off me, could he?