|| Hitherto || [completed]

21.Missing Memories.

"I am really sorry, okay? I didn't mean..." I take a deep breath before continuing "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I am sorry. If I knew all this will result in you getting hurt, I would never have even thought about it but I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight and it just happened. Things just kept spiraling in the wrong direction." By the time I finish my hushed rambling, Mr. Murphy turns around and his scrutinizing gaze settles on me, a warning for me to behave.

"We will talk about this later," Damon says, dismissing me. I sigh; at least he is going to talk to me.

Class ends on a very non-dramatic note. I gather my things stuffing them in my bag in a hurry and jog behind Damon who leaves the class without a backward glance.

Long time since someone has been this mad at me.

"Hudson! Wait up!"

Damon stops and turns around, his eyes express only one emotion: heartbreak. Guilt washes over me once again and I know this time sorry won't be enough.

"What do you want Sapphire?" he calmly asks me, no traces of anger even though he is talking through closed teeth to ease the pain in his jaw.

"You said we will talk later. Can we... can we talk now?" I bite my lip and look down at my converse whose color is now very fascinating to me.

"Fine."

My head shoots up and I smile. Damon does not smile back but walks out of the building, I follow.

"I have class," he checks his watch and proceeds, "in half an hour."

"You won't be late, I promise." I proclaim and walk faster to meet his pace.

He stops walking after sometime and leans against a tree with his hands in his jeans pockets waiting for me to catch up. I stand in front of him and open my mouth to speak first but he beats me to it.

"Keith Hamilton was the guy who left you? Wasn't he? Why didn't you tell me?" his question shocks me. Damon is not among the people who straight away talk about the matter at hand, he is more like the person who beats about the bush.

"I...I... didn't want to, he left and I never talked about him, well, until now. Back then it wasn't important to me or for me to tell his name to anyone." Don't cry Sapphire, hold back your tears. Don't cry. I keep saying this to myself because the last thing I want in this mess is Damon watching me cry.

"I cannot blame you for not telling me anything because you did tell me all about you and him, except his name. What I don't understand is why did you kiss me out of the blue?" his voice is small, like he is struggling to get the correct words and it makes me feel uncomfortable but not in the bad way.

"I.. I don't know" because I don't. I don't know why I kissed him, but I know it was an intentional mistake of which I am ready to take full blame.

"Look, I don't mean to sound mean, but you have been a hypocrite Sapphire." Damon calling me a hypocrite is a punch in my gut. He is the closest I have as a friend apart from Diana and maybe that's why his opinion about me matters.

He runs a hand through his hair and says, "Remember what you told me about rebound relationships?"

"Yeah?"