Changed (B.E.) {COMPLETED}

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"Why did you ever let her go?"

"...It was toxic. It had to be done. I could feel her slipping away from me and my grasp; I couldn't bear the idea of the best thing that ever happened to me leaving me. It left me in a bad place. That's why I started this fucking shit. It's why i started this therapy and it's working... I know. I just couldn't really show... my feelings. To anyone. Nobody cared and nobody dared to ask me if I was doing good because I was a horrible ass bitch and that's all that I ever was."

...

"Okay and... If you saw her again, what would you have liked to say about what occurred four years ago?"

"...I'm sorry."

"Is that it?"

"I'm sorry that I fucked everything up. I'm sorry that I put no effort into us. I'm sorry i didn't treat you right. I'm sorry I acted like that and said those stupid things and fucked your mental health up. And I'm sorry that you loved me so much you would actually drop your loved ones for me and did multiple times when they told you I was bad for you yet you still stayed with me... because that's who you are and you stick up for the people you care for. Or... that's who you were. Fuck."

"Hazelnut Latte with oat!"

Billie reaches for the drink and smiled softly at the man as he placed the lid on her drink.

"Thanks, have a nice day!"

Billie took the drink and grabbed two brown sugar packets. She poured them in her coffee and stirred it with one of those long, thin pieces of wood to stir the sugar around the hot drink.

It smelt so good.

Only 10 AM. It's Sunday. The weather is colder but it's still warm. There's just a cold nip to the air—making it crisp to breathe in. Billie loved mornings like these.

People were out and about. Doing some shopping, feeding the birds, trying new pastries from the foreign pastry place down the street.

It's peaceful. Billie has almost no one... But, she likes it that way.

Life alone is peaceful for her. It's stressful and very lonely but... she does enjoy it.

She does wish she had more friends. She struggles finding friends after leaving high school since all of her friends had the same bad habits and were delinquents like her. She was different, back then.

That is not her anymore.

With a backpack slung over her shoulder and the things she brought along with her in the bag, she made her way to her place.

Her place; a small bench, tucked away by a small pond near a medium-sized field. A flower-field. Billie liked going here. It was her own place and she loved sitting there.

When she arrived at the bench, she sat down and enjoyed the scenery.

Billie almost never went on her phone. She's not into the whole... 'social media' shit. Therapy helped her make that conclusion about social media.

She didn't get the point in it and telling strangers about what you're doing. She didn't seek approval from others anymore.

The flowers were blooming with vibrancy today. The sun was shining so bright and bees were going from flower to flower, pollinating them and going back to their homes with all they had collected... probably.

Billie liked to think the bees loved each other a lot.

She wished she was a bee. Going around and innocently collecting pollen, making honey, protecting their queen. It would probably be a very repetitive life.