I'm staring at the cream heart designed on top of my hazelnut latte, wondering why the hell do hearts exist. I probably don't have one anymore, or at least I don't feel it beneath my chest anymore. It's empty, like a dark room with no hopes of sun rays. I barely slept for two hours last night - as a matter of fact, every night ever since Lewis was gone. I take a sip of my latte and drain it in. Million thoughts racing around my mind. What is my life? What do I do every day? Work. Home. Sex Clubs. Cigarettes. Alcohol. More Cigarettes. That's basically my entire routine. Oh and yeah, Chocolates sometimes, like a whole basket of Munchies. Eleanor came over yesterday, I could see that she was holding back her tears, seeing me in this state.
"Life doesn't always turn out to be how we imagine it Nat. But life has to go on, and not this way. What have you done to yourself?" She said, placing her hand over my knee.
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. In fact, I don't know anything about my life right now. Im glad I have managed to survive for four long months. I reach in my handbag, finding my antidepressants. I look around while feeling the stuff in the bag. Just as I'm looking around, I see a familiar face catching my attention. He has light brown eyes, thick maroon ruffled hair with ash brown highlights. He's wearing slim fit khaki pants and a white Polo T-shirt. He's walking across the cafe and towards the seat opposite to me. It's Jayden, Lewis's best friend.
I met him a few times earlier, and we had the "longest" conversation of five to seven minutes at the ballroom, when Lewis had proposed to me. He sits down, and instantly notices me. He widens his eyes and waves, I wave back. He gets up and walks over to my table.
"May I?" He asks, gesturing at the empty chair opposite me.
"Oh, please do" I smile back.
He pulls out the chair and sits down in front of me.
"So Natasha, how are you doing?" He avoids contact with my eyes.
"How do you expect me to be doing?" I retort.
"Man, screw it. I thought I would put it up good, to avoid awkwardness".
"Awkwardness? For what?"
"You know it. We both know obviously how we're doing. But we just don't want to bring those things up".
"It's alright Jay" I say. "I've learnt to put up with it, I've learnt to put up with life".
"Well -"
His phone starts to vibrate on the table.
"Excuse me" he says while sliding the accept option on his phone.
"Hey, yeah I'm good. You?" I hear him say.
"Oh well, I haven't really found a tenant yet, but I'm looking around. I'll let you know when I do. So, when will you be leaving? Ok, alright see you later. Bye" He hangs up.
"You're looking for a tenant?" I ask him involuntarily.
"Well, not me but my colleague is. I'm just helping out to find someone who'd be interested. He's moving to Fiji for a few months. A few deals and all that stuff. But he wants someone to rent his apartment. He's in a rush, so he's actually offering a pretty good price" he finishes.
"Oh, I see" I nod. "Anyway, I gotta leave. It was nice seeing you" I say and head towards the cafe entrance.
"Take care Natasha" says Jayden
"You too, see you later" I wave at him, and exit the cafe.
