Card of Heart

Chapter 4 - Coruscant

He laughs. "I guess that will depend on if Onderon needs it."

"I've been thinking about... Well, us," Ahsoka says finally, voice dropping as she throws a glance over at the door.

Lux won't deny the eagerness that flares inside of him at her words. He has a sudden feeling about what she's about to say. "And?" he prompts.

"If you want, of course, I think maybe we can... We can never tell anyone, but..."

"If you're certain you want this," Lux replies, moving a little closer to her in spite of it, "Since I thought it wasn't allowed for Jedi?"

"It's not," Ahsoka replies, "But I don't... It doesn't matter. Not if no one will ever know." If that's how she feels, then he's certainly fine with it. It's what he wants, to be something more than just friends, even if the Jedi Code prevents her from having it. He doesn't want to stand in the way of Ahsoka's duties, but if it's what she wants... he won't deny her.

He doesn't hesitate more than a moment to close the distance between them again, kissing her.

***

It's been a long time since Anakin had time to spend alone with Padme, even here at the Senate. "Sometimes... I wish we could just leave together," Anakin murmurs, wrapping his arms around Padme. She rests her head against his chest, slipping her arms around him.

"Sometimes I do too," she murmurs. Hopefully, they aren't about to get interrupted again any time soon, like what almost always seems to happen. "I wish things could be like they were back on Naboo... when there was no war or politics. Just me and you."

"As I recall, the politics of that time were escalating to unimaginable levels at that point?" Anakin teases.

"True, but there were still those moments," Padme replies.

"Yes," Anakin agrees.

As much as Anakin might want to leave, it isn't really an option right now. He's thought a lot about leaving the Order, and it's something he's wanted to do for a long time – especially after the Hardeen incident – but there's too many other things to consider right now, the most major being the fact that he's not going to leave the war and the 501st. The galaxy needs him right now, and he won't leave it, no matter how much he craves to. Besides, he wants to keep helping people, and he won't be able to do that if he's not a Jedi. He knows he'll never find true peace in the Order either, though. "Maybe we can consider it," Anakin suggests, "After Ahsoka is a Knight. I can't leave until she has been Knighted."

He would never leave Ahsoka like that, not for any reason. She's his padawan, his responsibility, and even more than that, his little sister and something of a daughter. No matter how much he cares for Padme, he would never do that to Ahsoka. He would never leave her for someone else to finish training. Well, that is assuming that she wants to stay in the Order in the first place. She's mentioned it numerous times before, and he has to wonder. If he left, would she leave too? Still, it's not a position he wants to put her in. If she wants to leave, it should be by her own choice. He's not going to do something that would press her into making that decision.

And besides all of that, he's not ready to leave Obi-Wan. He can't. He doesn't even know how or where to start living. He knows it's something that he'll need to deal with eventually, but he isn't ready for that. Not yet.

"If you really wanted to, I'm sure Ahsoka would come with you," Padme points out.

"I'm not going to push her into leaving," Anakin replies. "The Order is her life, even if I'm not sure how satisfied she is with it, anymore."

"She's spoken to me about it before," Padme replies, "I know she's not happy with a lot of things anymore." Ever since the Hardeen incident. She doesn't mention that specifically, for which Anakin is silently grateful. It isn't a topic he ever wants to discuss. "Where is Ahsoka?" she asks after a moment.