Undeniable Chemistry (Rewritten)

4

"She was crying in pain, bleeding from within

But no one heard her shouts, no one saw her bleed

All she wanted was to escape, that prison of death

That burnt you inside out and ripped out your flesh

For her there was no choice, only to feel and fear him

But all she wanted was to die than live in that nightmare"

- Smiling Ivy

Do you know the thing about nightmares? You know it's not real but it still shakes you to your core. That paralyzing fear when you hit the worst part, you want to open your eyes but it's like they're super glued shut. The funny thing is it usually depends on what happened in your day, what you thought about or witnessed. So in a way, you have some control over it. But living in a nightmare isn't something you can control. The worst thing is it's real, you can't scream "open your eyes" instead you close them in hopes that it stops, you curl yourself in the corner of the room and hope that the man chasing you turns and leaves. I'd take a dream nightmare over a real nightmare any day. Wouldn't you?

I didn't get much sleep again. Each time I closed my eyes the feeling of someone encircling my neck jerked me awake. I know I should take my meds to help but I can't because whenever I take them I feel like a robot moving through the motions in my day. I never feel alive. The chemicals in my meds help with the nightmares and the paranoia as well as the anxiety attacks but I'd rather deal with those than feel like a lifeless mummy.

I breathed in and out and slowly sat up, clenching my jaw to prevent myself from crying out in pain. Once I regained my balance, I shuffled to the washroom and looked in the mirror. My once pale face was now purple making me resemble 'Oh' from home. I carefully lifted my shirt off, shivering when my cold fingers touched my warm stomach. And I thought my face looked bad. I let out another sigh before removing the rest of my clothes and stepping into the shower.

Thirty minutes later and I'm standing in front of my mirror carefully applying makeup to my face. I had a swollen eye which was gonna be hard to cover up. Guess I gotta use the migraine excuse. Once I was done, I took a final sweep of my room before slowly escaping the house to avoid my father. I was unsuccessful. I opened the door and he came stumbling in drunk as always.

"You!" He yelled and yanked me back by my damp hair making me collide with the wall and sending me into a daze. I groaned and pressed my palm to the back of my hand to see if there was blood. There wasn't. I opened my mouth to talk but got cut off when his fist landed on my stomach. I doubled over clutching my stomach and wheezing. "I-I" I tried to beg him for forgiveness for whatever I had done but he was too blinded by whatever it was that ticked him off.

I slowly stood up and watched him stumble away but he stopped just before he entered his room and said "remember your place. Don't forget how much of a disappointment you are." And with that, he slammed the door shut.

*****

"Izzy!" Ethan hollered when he walked into the classroom, I winced from the noise. "Hi, Ethan," I mumbled, keeping my head down. "What's up with the sunglasses?" I recognize that as Dylan's voice. "Oh, so you're finally done being a d*** over a seating spot?" He cringed from the harshness of my words and rubbed the back of his neck as a sign of discomfort.

"Yeah, sorry about that, you caught me in one of my moods and it wasn't fair to you." I raised a brow, I wasn't expecting him to apologize for that quickly after the attitude I'd seen yesterday. "Apology accepted but I'm staying in this spot so if you have a problem, don't tell me. I couldn't care less." I tried so hard to have any form of emotion in my monotone voice but right now, talking was a struggle, I don't expect to be jovial anytime soon.