Longing (Dazatsu/Dazushi)

Longing

(Can be seen as platonic)

-

3+1 scenes with extended headcanon Atsushi thoughts.

Dazai is Atsushi's home—but right now, they're apart. Will they ever meet again? And if they did, will it still be the same as always?

(See below for information regarding each scene to avoid possible spoilers)

-

3 scenes in the anime plus 1 scene in the manga with extended headcanon Atsushi thoughts.

1st scene: Last episode of Season 2

2nd scene: Last moments of Dead Apple

3rd scene: Last scene of Season 3

+1 scene: Second scene in chapter 102 of the manga

(Spoilers for the last scene isn't as heavy, but it does imply something that is happening in that arc.)

-

A radiance of warm violet transgressing to a yellowish orange glistened against not only the glass walls of the skyscrapers in the city surrounded by sea, but also towards the water enveloping the city. White wisps of stars glazed the sea from where the almost pinkish sun between purplish and orange to where Atsushi stood. The gentle dances of the wind blowing his hair softly only enhanced the setting of the sun beyond the horizon and added tiny ripples and subtle waves by the shore.

"Nice view, isn't it?"

Atsushi's gaze jumped from that same view of Yokohama, the city that almost didn't survive if Dazai didn't trust him enough to face Francis and put a stop to the Moby Dick's descent, to the man whose rich brown locks swayed against his face.

"You protected it." His eyelids hid his deep brown eyes for a second, before they met Atsushi's with a slight tug in the corner of his lips. His gaze ever the softest they can ever be. "It's your city."

As if Dazai's eyes were glass, or maybe a mirror, they reflected that same sunset view. No, they seem to be reflecting a more purple and yellow—ah. Atsushi's eyes. It's as if Atsushi could see his own eyes while he stared at Dazai's brown ones.

A smile crept up to Atsushi's lips as he blinked away from Dazai's almost loving gaze and travelled back to the glistening sea. Content and something refreshing, perhaps some sort of warmth climbed up his system until his skin felt fuzzy and his heart, full.

But, would Atsushi protecting this city even ever happen if it wasn't for Dazai? If he hadn't met him in the first place—no, if Dazai hadn't trusted Atsushi enough, he wouldn't have been able to pull it off.

If Atsushi ever said that out loud, Dazai would probably insist that he knew Atsushi could do it, and that maybe he just didn't believe in himself.
That may be it too, but, is it wrong?

Is it wrong to feel that Dazai believing in him beyond a hundred percent was what made all this happen? That if it wasn't for Dazai—his complete trust—Yokohama would've been saved in another way. Not by Atsushi with the help of Akutagawa, Kyoka, and some others, but just, something else. Or by someone else. This is Dazai, after all. He could've figured out how to protect this city even without Atsushi.

But is it wrong to think that Dazai believed Atsushi was an integral part of Yokohama's safety? That perhaps, it was because he could have someone like Atsushi he could place his trust on, that made all this possible? Is it wrong to think that way?

Maybe not.

"My city, huh?" Atsushi whispered, although pretty sure Dazai heard it.

That has such a nice and comforting ring to it.