Nevermoor Requests!!

(TW: SA) grr hiss BARK BARK RAWARARASKDAJSKAJSA

kind of a crackfic lol, in which Morrigan gets catcalled, and Unit 919 becomes the title of this chapter. 

!!!TW for SEXUAL COMMENTS!!!

!!!TW ALSO FOR MILD SWEARING!!!

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"Lmao, I can't believe a Wundersmith is jealous of a chef," Francis laughed. The Unit was walking in park as a shortcut on the way to the 

"Shut up. It's literally called Cooking with Death. Plus, you do it in a place called the Murdergarden. How wicked does that sound?" Morrigan retorted.

"Wicked? I didn't know you were a Boston baked bean," Hawthorne joked. Morrigan rolled her eyes to the heavens. "Im not even from any of the fifty six states," she replied.

Hawthorne shrugged. "Well, you made it sound like you were from the state of Boston."

Cadence turned around to face the both of them. "Hey, dumbass twins. Boston isn't a state, it's a city in Massachusetts, and there are fifty states. Five-zero."

Morrigan looked confused. "But Joey from F-R-I-E-N-D-S said that there are fifty six states-?"

Arch facepalmed. "That's pop culture. Joey is supposed to be stupid. You get an excuse for thinking he was serious because you're from the Republic." 

"Oh," said Morrigan, "Well then what about Hawthorne?"

Mahir gestured to where Hawthorne was debating with Cadence on whether or not a place called 'Massachusetts' existed. "Oh, Hawthorne? He has no excuse. He's just an idiot." 

"I heard that," Hawthorne called to Mahir with an expression of mock hurt on his face. Morrigan stood on her tiptoes to ruffle her best friend's fluffy hair. "He's not wrong. You're the embodiment of 'sweet but no brain'." 

"I do too have a brain!" Hawthorne huffed. "Otherwise or else I would be alive, cuz then nothing would be pumping my blood. See, I can be smart too!" 

Morrigan giggled as Anah sighed. "That's not- nevermind. The HEART pumps blood to the rest of your body, and-"

"And that's what gives ya boners," A voice sniggered from behind them. The whole group whirled around to face a cluster of four boys. Two of them looked to be twins, while the other pair could not look more different. One was short and chubby, and other was tall and paper-thin. They looked to be a few years older than Unit 919. All of them were smirking. 

Anah shifted. "Well, yes, but-" Anah was cut off by the taller boy. "And when ya look at someone sexy, ya get horny, your blood goes to your rod and you get a boner." 

One of the twins wolf whistled from behind him. "Oh, is that what's happening to me right now? I'm lookin' at this one," he said, nodding to Morrigan. 

"You gettin horny?" The short one asked. The twin grinned and nodded, "Sure am," he responded, licking his lips. 

"Ya got a little stiffie yet?" His brother asked.

"Sure do," Twin One replied, licking his lips again, "I could stare at that body all day long," he chuckled. 

Morrigan took a step back, becoming ten times more uncomfortable than she was before. Hawthorne moved protectively in front of her. 

Tall faced Twin One, "Well, I could do so much more than just stare at it," he replied smugly, leaning to the side to catch a better glimpse at Morrigan. Hawthorne moved into his line of sight, earning a glare from the pervert. 

"Hey!" Mahir shouted at them, "Piss off!" The boys glanced at each other with 'can-you-believe-this-guy' looks all over their faces. "You piss off," Tall snapped back. "We're not doing anything wrong."