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𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖾 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ the offer. ╱ season four, episode nine.
THERE WAS SOMETHING different that washed through the air as the two survivors stomped through the small suburban street. Their bags had some new items littered through them, while they weren't very lucky, they still ended up getting some supplies, splitting the haul fairly with one another. Frankie hadn't felt any hope for a long time, and now, after meeting the younger boy, hope was beginning to crawl its way into her chest.
There was something different about him, she couldn't put her finger on it, maybe a new understanding of him, but it completely diminished his whole asshole persona. And she was glad, Frankie didn't know if she could handle Carl constantly being rude. Hanging around someone who is frequently negative puts quite a damper on who Frankie was. While she was quite sarcastic and sometimes borderline rude, she was nothing but pure sunshine at heart. It was different when this all started. She was so innocent, she didn't think there could be any bad in anyone. But she was sorely mistaken. Now she knows how much loss spreads like a fungus, her view of the world was altered forever.
In some ways, Frankie does ache to be the person she used to be, she misses it. The simplicity of it all. She misses how oblivious she once was, it was so easy to sleep at night back then. She wasn't haunted by the things she has seen, she didn't have the weight she now has. Frankie didn't have to watch her father wailing on an innocent person, she didn't have to see her mother dead, reaching out to them with hunger in her sudden milky eyes. The blue eyes that she loved so much were gone, all she saw are the white glazed-over ones, with no thoughts behind them, with no inclination of the woman she once was. Frankie can't sleep much anymore, her dreams, well memories, are too much for her.
She thought with time, her pain would get easier to swallow, but it doesn't, it never has. Her decisions plague her, and while she doesn't regret them, the what-ifs never leave. She hates how they take over her mind because she's not there, and it gets so bad sometimes she feels as if she can't breathe. They make her feel paralyzed, they make her wonder. She left without a second thought, but she wonders how her father took it. Did he ever look for her? Did he even care? She feels guilty about leaving him behind, she left the last part of her old life behind, her last living family member behind. While he had changed into an embodiment of darkness, he was still her father. There were moments when the old man she once loved shone through all the cold and calculated behavior. But in the end, she knew leaving was the best thing for her to do. Staying was only going to kill her more.
But that all doesn't exist in her mind right now, there's something else that's there. The new path she desperately wants to take is to help this boy find the rest of his group. She knew so much of his story is still missing, but she would eventually receive it as time passes, patience was key. He wasn't ready to share everything, and for her that was okay. When he was comfortable sharing more of his life, she was more than willing to listen. Just as he would do the same for her. There was so much of her story not told, the things that have happened to her will be shared with time. And that's how it should be.
