Pattern Breaker

And So the Pattern of Behavior Continues

From the very beginning, he was in love. Irrevocably. Sickeningly. With absolutely no way to ignore that or stop it, Soap was a useless putty when it came to Simon.

And he hated himself for it. And Ghost. God, how he detested how weak he had become. Especially now, with Ghost towering over him– casting shadows across Johnny's body even in the already dim light filtering in. With the knowledge that Ghost had heard him clearly and undeniably professing his love to him.

"Cut your mohawk back down," Ghost said suddenly as if he couldn't help himself. Soap stared up at the other man once more, head spinning at the subject change that violently dragged out of his own thoughts– confusion drawing his eyebrows together.

" What ?" If he said what one more time to Ghost he was going to throw himself into the nearest river and not come back up.

"Your mohawk. It's gotten long. Cut it." Not a request. An order.

"No. Why?" He asked incredulously.

"Because, it's driving me crazy."

"What, you don't like it?" He half-heartedly taunted.

"I didn't say that." Ghost responded, the corner of one of his eyes twitching. 

Soap tried to work through the odd statement, eyes landing on a hint of silver against Ghost's neck, glinting against the dark of his balaclava– tantalizing. Talk about driving a man crazy .

"I want my dog tags back." Soap responded firmly, biting on the inside of his cheek.

"No." Ghost said, his voice tilting a bit in slight humor at how the conversation flipped roles.

"Why?"

"Because they're mine now. I haven't taken them off since Price gave them to me. " Johnny panicked to squish down the excitement that washed through him at the statement. You can't fucking do this, Soap , He shouted internally to himself.

"They weren't Price's to give," He snapped. "Just get out, Ghost. Fucking hell. Please. Leave. Just like you did in Las Almas, in Chicago. Shouldn't be a problem for you." A low blow that Soap knew wasn't the truth, but he was desperate to get Ghost away from him. The harsh look that darkened Ghost's eyes caused him to drop his gaze back down away from him once more.

"You need to watch what you're fucking saying, Sergeant." Ghost growled.

"No. I'm not going to get hurt by you anymore. I can't do it. I can't do it anymore. Just leave. Hide behind your fucking mask like you always do, and your insistance on not letting anyone get close or care about you. Because I'm not doing it anymore. I can't be torn apart by you anymore, because soon there's going to be nothing fucking left of me." He wasn't sure if it was the booze or him talking at this point.

There was no taking back the words now. Sure, he'd regret them later, but right now he was in complete primal fight-or-flight mode.

"Look at me." Ghost grabbed Soap's chin roughly by one hand, his voice gruff and tense. Soap screwed his eyes shut tightly as his head was tilted up as far as it would go. "Look at me, Johnny."

Flight. Flight. Flight.

Slowly, Soap opened his eyes, nearly flinching at the intensity burning in Ghost's eyes.

"You want me to take the fucking mask off, Johnny? Fine." He reached up with his free hand, ripping the balaclava off and throwing it to the ground. Soap's lungs emptied in shock, feeling like he was seeing Ghost for the first time all over again. Seeing Simon . And all of his unrestrained emotions tightening his exposed features. The curls in his blond hair were sticking up wildly, dark eye makeup streaking down his cheeks– contrasting against the pale skin and light five o-clock shadow that dusted across his chin and upper lip. Soap could clearly see a healed scar cutting down the side of his face, coming down from just under his nose and kissing the corner of his lip before fading away. "There! Happy? What do you see? Huh? Does this look like the face of a man who doesn't fucking care? I was broken without you, Johnny. Broken . And you're going to spout off bullshit nonsense like your death didn't fucking affect me? Like it didn't tear me apart ? I'm not trying to minimize what you went through in lieu of my own feelings, but you're being a real fucking knobhead right now."