Little Things

041

"Care to explain how we ended up in a hotel with Nick sleeping next to you?" Kai asked as soon as I sat up on the bed.

"I fainted while carrying drunk you and you fainted on top of me, leading to Nick seeing all of this and bringing us to a hotel so we aren't both passed out on the street" I explained in the shortest way I could. But knowing Kai, they would ask so much questions that would basically take up the entire day. "For more questions, ask the one that carried us"

"Fuck that, answer Kai's questions dickhead"

Nick was like the annoying young brother people had that would constantly make irritate you in an affectionate way every chance he gets.

"You're not tired, you're just being annoying and don't want to talk" Kai pointed out, crossing their arms across their chest.

"Precisely, now shut it"

"So you broke up with your girlfriend, huh?"

"Who the fuck even asks that question? Yes I did like 2 days ago for a stupid reason I'm too lazy to explain" Nick sounded like a mix between tired and annoyed. Honestly was a mood.

"Alright, I smell like shit so I'm gonna go take a shower" Kai shrugged their shoulders and went over to the bathroom.

"Wanna talk about it? Kai's not here so you can talk to me" Knowing their friendship in the past, Kai and Nick were never as close as Nick and I were.

They would play games usually only when I'm around and rarely text each other unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not sure if it affected how much they trusted each other, but it was worth trying to help him anyways.

"I saw you guys at Erin's apartment that night and felt lonely so I invited her. Her name was Kaycee and I met her around 2 months ago to try and get back on my feet. She would constantly make really inappropriate and offensive jokes with my friends but I shrugged it because I liked the thought of being in a relationship. Anyways, she was at my apartment with me in the balcony when I saw you and Kai exit all wobbly legged, giving me the hint that you guys were hammered. When you both fell, I tried to rush out to help you but she stopped me saying I'm in a relationship and shouldn't help some girl because of her own mistakes. I told her it's being a decent human being and that you could get hurt but she continued to argue with me so I broke it off with her to help you"

"Wow she really sounded so insecure. But if I knew I'd bring the drunk girl to a hotel and cuddle with her at night, I'd make sure you didn't help her, I would." I joked, making the both of us laugh. "I'm sorry you guys broke up"

"Did you hear my story right? She was toxic, spoiled, and rich. She wasn't a slut or anything but she was rude and just messed up"

A part of me was mad at myself for breaking a relationship even if I knew it wasn't my fault I passed out on the street. Another was thankful he broke it off with her and realized how bad she actually was. A small part of me also realized that I never got over Nick and I probably won't ever get over him.

"How about you? Any relationships within the months of not talking?"

"Tried but they always wanted hookups. I couldn't do that anyways since I was living with my brother and he'd go ballistic if I brought someone and had sex with them without his permission. I've had really unhealthy coping methods and I don't have someone to ground me" I admit to him. I didn't want to tell him about the intense amount of drug use, nicotine, and alcohol I went through because of him cutting me off. It had put me in a state so much worse than I thought I would end up being.

"I'm not sure if this is all, and I won't question you about it if you're not willing to tell me, but I saw your cigarettes when I picked up your purse. I thought you said you were against doing those things after high school?"

"I wasn't okay. You meant more to me than you will ever know and losing you put me in the worst state I've ever been in. But it made me realize I needed to stop being dependent on others for happiness. As of the moment, I'm still looking for my happiness and I'm not sure where to start finding it" I was trying so hard not to get triggered by the memories and the pain I felt when I couldn't contact him. It was so heart aching that I could physically feel the pain on my chest.

"I'm sorry you felt that way. But I'm not sorry I did it. I've healed from my past trauma and you realized you need to find your happiness through yourself. We keep finding each other at the end anyways. When you woke up last night and started talking to me like we used to, I lost my fear of losing you. I could separate from you all the time and we'd still somehow find each other anyways" My heart raced as I saw his hand slowly slip into mine. It felt like a dream that I've been dreaming of for months.

"Can we please bring things back to the way things were? When we were friends? Id love you back as my friend and my coder." I look up at his face and all I could see is that stilled pained look on his face. "Look, if you can somehow build up our relationship to the way it used to be then maybe I'll give you another chance. Not right now though"

"Okay, I'll do everything it takes to get you back"

-

a/n: fun fact, this book was actually called "Personal Coder" for its first draft and I wrote this concept of a story way before Subject 104.

Also if he wanted to, he would 😒