Heartstone

Bonus Life

Present

There was a period of nothingness. Then bright sunlight blinded Arwin. He rocked and rolled in his seat as the car sped through the musical blue field. Instinctively, he slammed on the brakes and twisted the wheel. The car swerved, slid sideways, and came to a halt a hand's breadth from the bluebeard tree.

The aristocratic little man living inside the tree opened the door, poked his head out, frowned, cursed until he was blue in the face, and then slammed the door.

Arwin sat quietly in the car seat. Heart pounding, he tried to bring his thoughts into order.

He'd been trying to rescue those people. Then there'd been the fire. Then the blue screen of death. He remembered dying.

And yet here he was. Why?

It must've been pure luck. His hand must have hit the restart button just in time, and now he'd restarted. Yet he felt no joy, not even relief. It didn't feel like a victory. After all, he'd died.

He felt shaken to the core. It was difficult to think. His hands trembled on the wheel.

Looking out the car window in a daze, everything was just like it had been when he'd first arrived in this world. He climbed out of the car. A bluestone gave a despondent cry, just like it had before. There was the sandalwood tree full of sandals. The field of blue grass made soulful music as wind blew through it.

He felt himself falling once more into depression, that familiar, sinking feeling he was becoming all-too-used to.

Was this the sum total of who he was in life: a failure? He'd failed to keep Kelli's love and Eddie's friendship. He'd failed at living the life expected of him, the life so many others seemed to throw themselves into without question. Coming here, he'd failed to protect Bleu and Aoi, leaving them either injured or dead. Then he'd failed once more with the collared workers.

Maybe he should give up on everything. What was the point of trying in life if it only led to so much disaster and pain? He'd been restarted in this world out of nothing but luck. Perhaps this was life's way of telling him to turn around and go home. He'd get a regular job, live a normal life, even if it was alone and miserable.

A spark of anger flared from within the darkness coalesced around his heart.

"No," he growled. He slammed the car door shut and stalked through the blue field and into the forest, only coming to a stop once he'd left the melancholy area behind.

He stopped amidst the trees and looked up through a space between the branches. There was no smoke over the forest, so the fire hadn't happened. Probably all the blue-collar workers were still alive and well. The white-collars and the mooner and the belles were hopefully alive and well, too.

He looked up at the brilliant sky and contemplated the fluffy white clouds floating by. A pair of griffins soared overhead.

Arwin knew that he was being negative. He knew that it was depression, disappointment, and pain pushing his thoughts around and that he shouldn't give in.

He thought about returning to Earth, about giving up on this strange, fantasy world and going home. He thought about trying to live his old life or some version of it, the life that Kelli had wanted him to lead. Find a corporate career or something and force himself to stick to it. His hands bunched into fists.

He didn't want that life. Was it so wrong to want to live differently? Could he stay here, at least for a while, and see what he could make of life in this world?

He thought about the belles and the collared workers. He'd made mistakes, and people had gotten hurt. But he could go back and do it over, do it better, couldn't he?