A Place Where Everyone Is Blind

6- Leyla

Contrary to what my brother believed, I did have friends. They just weren't here in Punjab, I had left them all back home.

He was somewhat right, about me being antisocial here so I had the burning desire to prove him wrong. It turned out to be harder than I thought. I didn't trust anyone would actually want to be friends with me and the thought of just putting myself out there like that felt so desperate.

But it wasn't all as bad as he made it out to be.

One of the plus sides of being in my room all day was that I had ample time to practice my Urdu. And all of my assignments were done on time, weeks before they were due. I had started a variety of new shows, learnt how to cook a range of Pakistani dishes. It wasn't always bad being antisocial.

Until night came.

And then I would get that feeling in my chest, that ugly realisation that I was wasting my life away. That I should be out having fun, finding love, making memories and all sorts.

So I made the first step and I decided to talk to the girl next to me in class.

Her name was Laiba.

She was surprised to hear me speak, we had sat next to each other for months without a word, so when I asked her what she was doing after class she was completely shocked. It was so embarrassing, I felt like a complete loser. Who doesn't speak to someone for months and then randomly asks them how their day is going?

"I'm going to Faisalabad." She replied sweetly with a warm smile.

I relaxed a little, feeling better that her face just so happened to be very welcoming. I got the vibe that she was a sweet girl. I wouldn't have spoken to her otherwise. She seemed different to the rest of the girls here. Most of them were rich and snobby, they spoke English with an incredibly jarring accent and they looked down on people who didn't fit in with them.

She seemed.. simple.

"That's cool."

"I don't know if I'll go, I'm still thinking about it."

"Why not?"

She looked down at her work on the desk and gulped, I shouldn't have been nosy, I was already pushing it by talking to her. I felt embarrassed again.

"Sorry."

"No don't be sorry, it's just complicated."

I nodded, trying to be understanding but the worse half of me was dying to know why. She didn't strike me as someone who had complications in her life.

"Can you keep a secret?" She whispered.

The speed in which my eyes lit up was criminal, I was always desperate for a bit of gossip, and I had been lacking it for far too long.

"I know nobody here. Wallah."

She chuckled quietly, I figured this was what we would bond over because I had an inkling to she didn't really have someone to tell either.

But to say I was surprised was an understatement when she eventually told me about her dilemma.

Nadia, Rayaan..

"Well are they actually going to get married or is it just hearsay?"

"That's the thing, I don't know. She doesn't want to, but she will probably change her mind."

"Well if you like the look of him and nothing's set in stone, why don't you give it a shot."

I thought it was solid advice, genuinely, but by the look on her face I felt like it was entirely the wrong thing to say.

Panicked, I backtracked.

"Or not.. I mean, you could pine from a distance, it's not the worst idea I mean plenty of pe.."

"Sometimes being ignorant is a blessing." She chuckled to herself.

I was confused, was I missing something?

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know who Nadia's parents are?"

I shook my head, her expression was one of defeat.

"I'm of a low caste, they don't.. his family would never accept me.. don't you hear what they call me here?"

I was completely flabbergasted. She was right in my ignorance. I just thought her problem would be that he didn't like her back, not this complex.

"Who still cares about this sort of stuff?"

"The parents, their generation.. they've not let it go as much as people think they have and our generation.. well we don't like disappointing out parents do we? Log kya kahenge? What will people say?"

"I'm sorry." I frowned, not knowing how or what to do to comfort her. There wasn't really much I could say anyway. I was in an entire different world to them all.

She waved me off and we paid attention to class again, focusing on the work before I felt myself wanting to comfort her. Truthfully I felt bad for prying and I could tell by her face it had ruined her mood.

"Whoever cares about this sort of stuff.. aren't worth your time. At the end of the day we're all going to die one day, and on judgment day Allah is only going to judge your deeds, not whatever caste you're from. They're hypocrites, this entire ideology is against Islam."

She snorted, I looked at her in mild offence. That was genuine good words of comfort.

"What?"

"You quoted Bulleh Shah without you even knowing." She joked.

"You do not strike me as someone who likes poetry." I admitted in surprise. The only reason I knew who Bulleh Shah was because like I said, ample time in my room alone meant I took up on extra reading. Extra studying meant I could thrive in Punjab. No one could make me feel like I didn't belong. My Urdu was perfect, I got all of their jokes and their references. I worked hard at trying to fit in, unlike Khadim.

"Oh I'm not, you won't catch me near a book but Nadia's a fanatic. She quoted the exact quote, after she saw I was upset. Someone had insulted my mother."

Soon class was over and I found myself walking with her. We were talking about some stupid rumour about people we didn't know or care about, when I asked her about Faisalabad again.

"So what do you decide then?"

"I know this is a stretch but.."

"But.."

"Will you come with me?"

Yeah I did not expect that one.

"Erm.."

"I don't know if I'm entirely comfortable going alone, I'm afraid people will get the wrong idea and the last thing I need is random aunties reporting back to my mother."

"I would, but Laiba, this guy.. he literally does not know me at all, I don't think he'd be thrilled exactly to see me tagging along."

Bear in mind we've literally spoken once, I don't even really know you all that well.
You could be a killer.

"Come home with me, we need to study we can do it at mine.. well Nadia's.. if he comes by, I'll ask him, if not, I won't go at all."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded quickly.

Well you wanted a friend Leyla you got one.