Unmatched Hatred

Chapter 27

I began to inform the three of them of all the horrible and vulgar things Malfoy had done, causing me to be enraged all over again. I told them almost everything, leaving out the incident in the garden, the odd encounter at the stairs, and the other odd encounter in the library. I would tell Harry about some of that in private later. I will also let him know of all the ridiculous lies Malfoy had told about him to me.

"This summer you should come stay at the Burrow," said Ron, "It's nothing much, but we all hang out there sometimes."

"It's actually quite lovely," added Hermione, pleasing Ron.

"Well enough about me. What about everyone else's summer?" I asked.

Weirdly enough, Harry has not committed much to the conversation other than a few comments here and there. It was almost as if he were out of touch with everything around him. I then remembered something and pulled out my tote bag from under my seat while Harry was telling us about the crazy things Dudley had done to him.

"Hey Harry-," I interrupted unintentionally, "Sorry- I was just not sure if you wanted this back or not." I pulled out his Quidditch jumper he had let me borrow over the summer.

"Oh yes, I'll have it back. Thank you," replied Harry as he received his jumper from my hands.

Hermione sighed. "I wonder when it is my time to be happy."

"I don't need a girlfriend," mentioned Ron, "Girls are too much work."

Hermione then responded by back-handing Ron on the shoulder. Harry and I snickered at them, and I was reminded of how much I missed this.

For the rest of the ride, I expected Harry to make a move like plant a kiss on my cheek or wrap his arm around me or some form of affection. Come to think of it, he has not paid me the amount of attention I had expectations for. Concern began to grow within me. Was Harry okay? Did something happen? Did I say something wrong? My mood slowly shifted as I began to overthink much more than necessary.

No. I was only overreacting. However, I could not help but think, and almost feel, that Harry did not care too much about seeing me. The four of us continued to fill the compartment with conversation, but I could only wonder why Harry was behaving so out of character.

A few hours later, we finally arrived at Hogwarts. I told Ron and Hermione to go on and purposely waited on Harry to grab his belongings.

"Come on, Harry!" I tried to cheer up since now it was just the two of us.

"I'm ready," replied Harry, his expression content.

I reached out my hand to his, and he then inferred from my action that I wanted to hold his hand. Harry held my hand as I followed behind him through the train and out into the open. Students were piling out of the train left and right and I saw Hagrid in the distance gathering all the first years.

I needed to go ahead and ask Harry before we caught up with the others.

"Harry, is everything-"

I was suddenly interrupted by a loud group of Gryffindor boys who looked to be in the same year as Harry. I also suddenly realized his hand  was no longer in mine.

"Hey Harry!" they all exclaimed.

Harry laughed and hugged every single one of them, completely forgetting I existed. I stood awkwardly behind him, waiting for him to acknowledge me again. I felt an odd surge of anxiety. He has not quite ignored me like this before.

"Holly, is it okay if I catch up with you later? I promise I will." pleaded Harry.

Harry proposed to be really ecstatic. I just could not refrain from saying no.

"Sure! I'll see you later, Harry."

"Bye!" he responded cheerfully.

He waved goodbye, and within the blink of an eye he was walking away with all his friends, leaving me behind and alone amongst a crowd of strangers.

Maybe I was being too obsessive. Of course, Harry had other friends he has not seen all summer. Besides, he has already had it hard enough. Perhaps he just needs some time.

Yeah. Yeah absolutely.

Feeling abandoned, I hopped into a carriage with Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, along with five other people in my year I did not know. I sat next to Hermione. Ron and Ginny sat across from us.

Ginny recognized my troubled countenance.

"Something wrong?" asked Ginny as the kids next to her were roaring with laughter at a joke passed around the carriage. She gave them an unfriendly, side-eyed look and their noise quickly drowned out.

"Oh nothing is wrong. Just tired," I lied, masking all the emotions I had been feeling at that moment.

I had imagined in my dreams last night of Harry spotting me amongst the crowd at Kings Cross, and him sprinting up to me with a joyful and broad smile on his face. I imagined him crashing onto me out of excitement and embracing me with a meaningful hug. Instead, I set my expectations too high which resulted in me being let down. Still, I felt like he could have done much more than just simply sit there and tell me hi after two months. I thought it over and over on the entire ride to the Hogwarts castle and wondered what went wrong.