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Chapter 41: A Crooked Way and a Lonely and a Long

Amber didn't reveal details but informed her companions that she had to separate from them to help Frodo. She didn't want to relive the trauma of seeing her own death, at least not until the time had passed, and she was sure she wasn't going to die. And she couldn't stand to see any semblance of the grief she saw on their faces from the vision. It would probably break her.

"Can't sleep?" Boromir asked, walking up from below deck.

"I'm afraid I'll see it all again when I close my eyes," Amber replied, confirming with her words. "And my mind is racing. I won't be able to get it quiet enough to fall back asleep."

"I doubt anyone will be getting much sleep for the foreseeable future," Boromir related. "Our minds are all on the battle ahead."

"I bet," Amber agreed. "Since I wasn't able to sleep through the night, my brain is anticipating that I will depart in just a couple hours. That is also what won't allow me to sleep. I used to have the same problem when it came to appointments. When I know something is coming up, it's almost as if I get paralyzed from being able to do anything else than wait for it. If I do anything else beforehand, I become blind to the passage of time, or thing the task is going to take less time than it does, and I end up late for things."

"That sounds like a struggle," Boromir sympathized.

"It is. There's a whole community of people like that, though. You've shown more empathy for me that my own family does sometimes. They think I'm just trying to be lazy, I should try harder, or 'just write it down'. If I write it down I tend to lose the list and no matter how much I beat myself up in my own mind, I physically can't get up to do what I want or need to do. They don't understand that my brain literally works differently than theirs."

"I would think a family would draw themselves closer to aid you when you need help with those things," Boromir said.

"Several try, but then they get annoyed at how severe my symptoms can be sometimes," Amber told him.

"I haven't noticed anything like this while you have been here," Boromir commented.

"Well, the other side is I tend to hyper focus on things that I am invested in. And considering we've been out here on this journey, there really isn't much else to focus my time and energy on," Amber said.

"I think I will go with you," Boromir stated. "I feel as if I would be more useful to you. And I wish to aid Frodo now that I am of sound mind, since I could not before."

"I do not think that is a good idea," Amber said.

"Why ever not?" Boromir asked.

"Do you think you could withstand the call of the ring now? When you couldn't before?" Amber questioned in response. Boromir looks down in shame. "Besides, after how you parted and his current mental state ... I don't think that Frodo would be too thrilled to see you... Go with Aragorn. Help defend your city... And when we get back, apologize to Frodo. He'll be his normal self then and be happy to see you and forgive you."

"Very well, Miss Amber," Boromir replied. "I will follow your instructions. Now that I think on it, I see the wisdom in waiting to see Frodo. If his mind is anything like when I encountered him last, he will see me as an enemy."

"And there is always the possibility that seeing you could push him over the edge, and he falls completely into the dark side," Amber said gently, to lessen the sting. Boromir nodded and stood beside Amber as the sun started peaking over the horizon. Its beams were somewhat dulled by the dark clouds overhead.