What About Us? - Book 1

Chapter Seven

So that's us.
We're just friends now.
Friends.
It seems appealing, right?
I mean think about it, if we got together and then split up; that's our friendship demolished. For ever.
Things happen for a reason, right?
I might never be with her. I'll never be able to kiss her like I want to and I cannot caress or protect her as I please either. Most importantly I'll have to stand back and watch other men take my dream job - being her boyfriend.
My thoughts are blank for a while and I feel my heart drop heavily.
Maybe I don't want to be over her though. Maybe I don't want any other guy to hold her heart. What if she moves out? What if she isn't even a 'friend' anymore?! Because face it I'm going to be alone forever and she's just going on move on, just like that.
That's a bit over-dramatic.
I won't love anyone else. I can't.
You can. You need to let her go.
I do?
You know you do. Just be thankful for having her in your life.
What if she leaves?
Silence takes over my thoughts.

I stare up at the ceiling. I stay staring at that god damn ceiling until it's no longer midnight but 6AM. I shower for a long time and I spent hours remaking teas. Watching them go cold and then setting them warm again - it reflects my fucked up love for her.
At 8AM when I finally decide its for the best to move on; Willow comes bouncing in.
I turn and she smiles.
That's it. My heart shatters all over again.
And she fucking knows it...
The worst part is that I smile back. I smile at the sight of her. Every time I see her; my heart gushes, my mind soars with my ardour for her and I smile like the idiot I am.
"It was cold last night," Willow mumbles. "Were you cold?"
"I was alright."
Last night? I was sweating like fuck. My heart was racing so fast with these intense thoughts, I fucking wish I was cold.
"Do you want a tea, Dan?"
"Yeah, go on then."
Tea doesn't seem to have a taste anymore. It's bitter. Everything's so bitter.
"We can go to the studio today, meet up with the lads."
"Sounds good."
I can't even look them in the eye. They hate. Everyone hates me.
"Danny?"
"Yeah."
She's sat in front of me and suddenly I can feel again. I can feel the heat from the mug I didn't even know was in my hands. I can feel her soft, alluring eyes peer though my skin like the sun burning through my eye sockets. I suddenly forget how to breathe and I gasp as she leans towards me.
I stare at her in bewilderedness, reeling back slightly. I think she realises and she moves away, cheeks; a scarlet red.
"Studio?" She chirped.
"Sure."

* * *

"Mark, Glen!" I watch as Willow wraps both arms around their necks and cuddles up to them clumsily.
I walk past them and slump into one of the couches. I feel flattered however by the fact that she then wanders after me. She sits beside me.
"Why are you being a loser?" But she's smirking, head tilting to the side.
"You love losers."
"Why would I love losers?"
Again, her head is leaning in and I feel my body shiver feverishly.
"Because you love me." I see her face twist slightly and I gulp. I quickly recover as I nudge her arm. "Because we're best friends, remember?"
I tear my eyes away.
Why the fuck did you say that?!
Wasn't thinking...
Well you're a-
She's laughing.
I blink at her. She catches my gaze and before I can look away both of her hands are reaching out. She leans against me, ruffling my hair roughly. I push her away, grumbling despite secretly enjoying it.
"Idiot."
"Whatever, you're a loser."
"I'd rather be a loser than an idiot." I insist but I'm smiling.
I can't help it. When you look at Willow, you have to fucking smile. It's like when it's really sunny; you sweat and you burn, you sometimes even wish for it to vanish - but you still smile. And when it's gone you still long for the painful burns and the unbearable sweat even though it will sometimes hurt, it will scar you even.
It's worth it though. That's why you smile.
I look at her smile there and then.
That's it, isn't it?
She's the sunshine.

* * *
Back at our flat that night, we all sit around the television. I'm sat between Willow and Glen. I'm quite relieved actually Glen is sat beside her as I always had this feeling that he liked her. You can see it in the way he stares at her, how sincere and gentle he is with her. Right now though, he seems disinterested as he leans forward, blue eyes quivering with the images of the film.
I turn to Willow but she seems quite bored. Her eyes still engage to the moving images and I watch as she chews adorably on the corner of her cushioned lips. She catches me looking and peers at me for a moment, eyes scanning brefily.
"Me and Mark are going to make tea and coffee for everyone, okay?"

* * *
moments later

"Willow?"
She swallows, standing up slowly.
"Dan..."
"I thought you were making-why are you-"
She lifts herself up from Mark's lap and slowly walks towards me.
"W-Willow?" I stutter, the room spinning slightly.
No. No. They aren't together. She wouldn't do that, not when she knows how I feel.
She wouldn't...
"He's...my boyfriend."
"What?"
"It's true." Mark mumbles softly.
Then I see it. I see the adoration in his eyes.
They love each other, don't they?

"Danny-calm dow-Dan-" She's grasping my arm, trying to haul me back but I can't contain myself.
I spin on my heels, nails burying under my flesh of my neck.
My heart is screeching. Brain ticking rapidly.
All of my emotions smashing together as I try to make sense of it all.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
"Mark? Seriously?!" I hear myself rambling.
"What's wrong with Mark?"
I gulp. The tears scorching against my face.
"He's not me!"
Glen pops in innocently, questioning the shouting and I somewhat try to tackle him.
Willow pulls me towards her but I shove her back in the heat of my indignation.
She falls back and Mark, the so called new man, catches her effortlessly. He helps her up and then steps forward.
"You fucking idiot! You could have hurt her!"
"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?!" I'm squaring up to him. His face flinches as I growl viciously down at him. "You could be the hero couldn't you, Mark?! You could save her, couldn't you Mark?! Because you're better!"
I turn to Willow, spit pouring down my shirt as I scream frantically. "He's good enough, is he?! Is he better?! Why is he good enough?! Answer!"
"What the fuck are you talkin-"
I thrust Mark away before he could continue.
"Because clearly, clearly I'm not good enough for any of that! Am I?! I'm never going to be good enough, am I?!"
I'm being pushed back and suddenly I'm on the door step.

Oh.

...
This when the story really starts.

I don't know if this was rushed or if it makes sense or whatever but tell me what you think please.

Who do you ship?
Danny and Willow?
Mark and Willow?

- Chloe