For Fox's Sake (#3, Completed)

3. You can run but you can't hide

Decadence was the only place where I could cast out my problems and reality. Who would have thought that a human sex club would have provided me with the escape I needed?

Then again, I was a fox shifter, and we were the most promiscuous kind out there, so it was no surprise really that sex was my outlet. And the club came with all the safety of having everyone on the same page–we were there to play, release some steam, and part ways after... Even if I always had to fantasise that it was her there with me, that innocent little wolf.

I was lucky, though. We never got to say the mating words; which meant that neither of us actually recognised the other one as their mate, triggering the irresistible pull of the mate bond. That was the only reason I could physically be with anyone else.

But deep down inside, there was only her.

Her image lived rent-free in my head, and I was not fucking sure that I ever wanted her to leave.

Was she also screwing someone? The thought of somebody else bringing her to ecstasy drove me as crazy right now as it did every day over the past few years. Hypocritical of me, I knew that–I was an arsehole for even daring to feel any possessiveness or jealousy. Not like I wasn't the one who messed with her before I even allowed anything to happen between us.

Hell, I betrayed her before I even knew we were mates.

But at least she knew nothing about us. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to punch Rafe or laugh when he unknowingly admitted that he had erased me from my mate's memories. He didn't know, of course–he had no clue what happened after we rescued Natalia from that dungeon.

For what it was worth, he only wanted to do the best for his sister, even if that meant getting someone to make her forget everything about her kidnapping and her rescue. As far as Natalia was concerned, it never happened, and with that, our brief confrontation never took place either.

What changed three years ago?

The question still hung in the air, neither Max nor Rai daring to speak.

My jaw clenched so hard that pain spread through it. But I was a sick bastard who liked pain.

"I'll be there," I finally turned to him, ready to give him anything he wanted, as long as we closed that topic. If that meant that I had to sit through another dinner with a happily mated couple, I was going to do it.

"And don't be late, for once," I heard him add when the door finally slammed behind me.

Thank fuck for that, Aron mind linked. That meeting was the most excruciatingly boring thing you've made me suffer through recently.

Yeah, he had become just as moody as I had, if not even worse. I know, I retorted. I was also there.

I have to admit that I enjoyed your little suffering when Maxwell brought her up. I told you that walking away from her was a fucking stupid idea.

Did you forget about Kerrin's deal, you idiot? Would you rather that she hates us?

You could have figured it out, James, my fox snapped at me. We could have!

Oh, you mean like we have figured it out in the past three years?

He shook his head. No, that's just you burying the problems deep down with a lot of sex. I am all for pleasure and pain, but what you are doing is just ignoring reality, and soon enough, you won't be able to do so anymore.

I looked down at the words on my abdomen as I undressed to shift. As much as I hated it, Aron was right. The fact that the line of text was slowly fading was a sign that we had been away from my mate for too long, yet they were not going to disappear. Not until those words left her lips, and I knew for a fact that she was my mate. I could only hope that it was never going to happen. Not if I had anything to do with it.