“Louis, we need to talk,” Eleanor tells me after a while. I came to see her because she said we had something important to discuss. Things have been a bit odd between us, I’ve noticed the difference and a part of me dreads what she has to say, but the other part wants all this to be over once and for all.
“You can tell me anything,” I tell her taking her hand but she takes it away and avoids my glance. I know then that it’s not something good.
“First off, I want you to know that I fought for us, I really did my best to make it work, but— but this is bigger than me, Louis.” I don’t answer her, I keep staring at her, waiting for her to continue. “At the beginning we were perfect. I thought we could conquer everything, that nothing would stand between us. I thought our love was that strong, but I was wrong.”
I feel numb, trying to make sense out of her words, trying to know where she is going with this.
“Distance is bigger than us. Your world is bigger than us. I started uni and realised that no one was having that kind of problem. That all those who were in a relationship didn’t have to go through the things we did. They could be together every weekend while I could only see you every three months, if I was lucky.”
“But that was because the world tour. Now we’re here and—”
“But then another world tour comes. And many others. Now you’re here, but you won’t be here for too long, I’ll be alone again. I know this sounds selfish and clingy, but I need you here. I need you by my side but you can’t be and I can’t ask you to quit your life to be with me,” she carries on and I feel my heart stopping.
I want to tell her she’s wrong, that it’s not like that but I can’t. I know she is right, that our situation is like that. Now I’m here, probably I’m going to be here for a couple of months but after that I’ll be leaving again. There’s always somewhere else to go, a different country to visit. My life is on the road whilst hers is here in Manchester.
“I met someone, Louis. No! I haven’t cheated on you, nothing had happened between us. Don’t look at me like that. I met him when I started my classes. We’re in the same major so we studied together sometimes. A few months ago he told me he wants to be more than friends, but I told him I’m with you, but when he asked me where you were in that moment I realised all this. When he told me that he could be with me, really with me, I realised how I needed that. Louis,” she looks at me and I can see this is not easy for her, but she is determined to do it. I don’t know how to feel, what to say. I’m frozen. “I need and want something that you can’t give me but he can.”
I breathe in slowly, not daring to look away but wanting to do it so badly anyways. This can’t be happening, I can’t believe it. But her eyes don’t lie, she is honest and is waiting for me to say something. But what can I say? How do I reply to that? What is she expecting? My blessing to go and have a happily ever after with that other bloke? I can’t smile and tell her I understand this, I can’t just let her go like that. How can she be doing this to us?
“You’re breaking up with me so you can be with that other guy.” I state, not a question and she looks away, not proud of what she is doing.
“I’m doing what I think is best,” she mutters and I stand up abruptly, rolling my eyes at her words.
“Sure, giving up on us is the best. Taking the easiest way is the best. Oh, sure! Why can’t I see it like that?!” I exclaim not bothering to hide my sarcasm. “What do you want from me, El? To be happy for you that finally found a guy that won’t give you all the problems I did? Well, I’m sorry for disappointing you but I can’t be happy for you!”
“Louis, please. We don’t need to end like this,” she begs but I laugh humourlessly at her. “We can still be friends.”
“Friends?” I echo her, still laughing. “You honestly think we can be friends? And how, uh? I’m not gonna be here, how can we be friends?”
“That’s different, Lou. You seriously want to be stuck in a relationship like this?”
“Stuck?!” I cry out, my temper making me want to yell at her. “That’s how you see this? I love you, I really wanna be with you but you feel stuck. Good to know!” I rub my hands over my face, trying to calm down but it’s so hard.
I’m hurt, disappointed, confused, angry, desperate, frustrated. I’m so many things right now I can’t even list all the feelings that are drowning me.
“I don’t love you the same way anymore, Louis. I tried, I swear I tried but I couldn’t keep my feelings. You weren’t here and Eric was and I— I just fell out of love with you.”
Eric. So that’s his name. That’s the name of the bloke that stole my girlfriend.
“If that’s the case, I won’t force you into something you clearly can’t stand anymore. Go and be happy with Eric,” I feel a bitter taste in my tongue when I say his name.
“Please, Louis. I really think we can be friends. After all we’ve been through we can’t end like this. Please,” she begs grabbing my hand but I shove her off and step away from her. “We can go to Starbucks from time to time, you can tell me everything about the tour and how you’re doing. I’m sure this is the best for you, too. We both will be fine.”
“Friends,” I laugh again giving my back on her. “Sure, Eleanor. Have the life you want, I’ll carry on with mine. Good bye.”
I don’t wait for her answer, I leave her flat clenching my fists and fighting over all my impulses to destroy something. Eleanor just broke up with me. I thought she cared about me but she stopped loving me long time ago now. She found someone better. She broke my heart like that, with a few simple words.
I don’t love you the same way anymore. No, she doesn’t because she loves Eric now.
All women are the same. I don’t know why I even bother. They make you believe they love you, that they will fight for you but they will leave you as soon as they find someone better.
But that’s okay. I don’t need a girlfriend; I don’t need love. I’m better off without her. I have all I really need: a job I love and my friends.
Fuck you Eleanor, fuck you all women. I don’t need any of you.
-:-:-:-
And here it is, the prologue of my fourth book in the series. This is what really happen before chapter 31 in MS, so now you understand better how is that Louis ended up like this. FYI, I adore Eleanor, I really hate writing their break ups, but it was necessary for the story.
IMPORTANT: This is not a Larry story so don't expect that.
Dedication goes to Mila because she gave me the idea of this story. So you have B&S because of her. Go and tell her thanks! hahaha
Bel, xx
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Bitter & Sassy (Louis Tomlinson)
Fanfiction{book 4} - ❝ All women are the same. One day they say they love you, that they are gonna be with you forever; the next they meet someone else, someone who can be with them when they need it, someone who shares their world. And then they tell you “bu...
