My Really Loud House Story

The Macho Man With the Plan

[Open on an exterior shot of the Loud House, then fade into Lincoln sleeping in his room. His eyes snap awake]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Today is a big day. Today is the day Lincoln Loud becomes a man." [gets out of bed] "And I am super pumped!" [Cut to Lincoln brushing his hair in the bathroom] "I've always been known as the Man with the Plan, but tonight, I'm gonna take it up a notch. My best friend Clyde and I will be watching the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and getting our official Macho Man badges."

[Flashback to Clyde and Lincoln watching TV in the living room]

Rip Hardcore: "Ooh! Watch my Midnight Marathon! Yeah! Put in promo code: MACHOMAN! All-caps! Watch it! And I will personally send you your Macho Man badge."

[The badge flashes on screen.]

Announcer: "Macho Man badges are not gender-specific. Rip Hardcore isn't just super ripped, he's super woke. And super ripped."

Lincoln: "I am totally getting that Macho Man badge!"

Clyde: "There's nothing cooler than a badge. That's why I wanna join the FBI as a badge-maker."

Lincoln: [looks down his jersey] "Maybe I'll even grow some chest hair."

[Back to the present. The usual Loud House chaos runs rampant in the hallways. Lisa is standing outside the bathroom, really needing to use the toilet. The toilet flushes, and Lincoln steps out of the bathroom as Lisa rushes inside.]

Leni: "Too pink?"

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "When you're the only boy in a family with eleven sisters, you learn two things. Number one: Always put the toilet seat down when you're finished."

[Lisa can be heard screaming as something splashes]

Lisa: "LINCOLN!!"

Lincoln: "My bad!"

Luna: [off-screen] "Where's my lucky guitar pick?"

Lena: [Off-screen] "Is it not in your guitar case?"

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "And number two..."

Lynn: [off-screen] "Hey, Stinkin'!"

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "You gotta reserve your TV time." [heads downstairs]

Lola: [off-screen] "Hops farted again!"

[Lincoln heads downstairs to the couch, where there's a "RESERVED" sign on his sweet spot.]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "I've even staked out my favorite spot on the couch." [Next to his sweet spot is a stained seat. He grabs the seat and flips it, and it's stained on the other side, too] "Guess this one's out of flips." [puts it back] "The only thing left to do is prepare the midnight snacks." [He enters the kitchen to find Lynn Sr. knocked out cold on the floor, snoring, surrounded by ingredients and with the fridge door open] "Ah, the life of a chef. Poor guy works too hard." [tries to wake him up] "Dad? Daad?"

[Suddenly Luan shows up]

Luan: "Step aside, Lincoln. This is a job for my gag flower."

Lincoln: "Does that thing even work?" [Luan fires the flower on Lincoln.] "OK, then."

[Luan prepares to fire the gag flower on Lynn Sr., but finds out it's run out of juice]

Luan: "And now it's out of water."

Lynn Sr.: [groggy] "Where am I? What day is it? Did I miss my half-birthday?"

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "My dad loves his half-birthday."