Auctioned

Liam

The faint hum of the car seems louder than usual as I drive through the dark night on my way to Allison.

      It’s only been hours, but I know I’ve made a horrible mistake.  I’ve thrown away the most beautiful and pure creature to ever light up my life.

      I can’t believe I let her go.  No, I threw her away.

      Fuck!
      I grip the steering wheel tighter.  It hurts so fucking much.  I keep seeing the look in her eyes.

      She told me she loved me.  I know she does.  She did.

      But now…
      If she doesn’t forgive me, I’ll never recover from this.  I had my perfect kitten.  So gorgeous and full of life and hope and happiness.  And healed.  So strong in every way.

      I take in a breath so violently it hurts my lungs.  My chest feels like it’s collapsing in.

      My kitty.

      I lean my head forward, resting on my fists as I sit at a red light and fight with the emotions tormenting me.

      I’m not worthy of her, that’s the problem.  I’ve murdered.  I’ve watched men die.  Worse, there’s a darkness in me that will dim her beautiful light.  That’s my biggest fear.  I need to remember that.

      But for her, I’ll try.  I promise to fucking God, I will try to be better for her.

      I just need a chance.  I need her to forgive me.

      I need her back.  I’m a selfish man for it, but I need her back in my life.

      It’s a reckless thing for me to do.  To go take her back.  But if she lets me, I’ll never let her go.

      My phone rings in the car, and for a moment I think it’s her.  My kitten.

      I swerve on the road, nearly losing control, but only for a moment.  Fuck!  I’m losing it.

      Because I lost her.

      I nearly throw the fucking phone out of the window when I see it’s Madame.  I don’t know what the fuck she wants, but I don’t have the time.  I almost toss it onto the floor, but I can’t.  It’s late.  It’s really fucking late, and if she’s calling at this hour, there’s a damn good reason for it.

      “Fuck,” I curse beneath my breath and try to answer the phone without anger as I drive closer to her.  I’ll have her back soon and then everything will be alright.

      “Hello?” I answer.
      “Hello, Liam,” her voice is even and calm, no hint of urgency.

      “Now’s not a good time,” I grit out between my teeth.  I instantly regret answering.

      “Oh?  I thought you should know as soon as possible that Allison has agreed to go up for auction tomorrow.  But I suppose if you don’t have the time...”

      My blood chills, and my heart nearly stops beating.  “Bullshit.”

      “No, that’s what stomping on a woman’s heart will do to you.”

      I slow the car and drive off the road, stopping in the shoulder.  My throat dries, and I can’t fucking stand the pain.  It’s only been hours.  It was one mistake.

      One fucking mistake.

      And she’s done.

      I threw her out.  I deserve this.  I shake my head, denying it.  I didn’t want to.  I didn’t mean to.