Card of Heart

Prologue

Lux's gaze flickers to the control panel of the shuttle, and he smiles faintly. "We do make a pretty good team, don't we?" Their eyes meet, and Ahsoka can see a deep fondness in his gaze. "Don't worry," he assures her. "We'll meet again. I promise."

"I don't want you to leave," she mumbles, struggling to keep her voice steady. "I -- I care for you, Lux." It was harder than she'd expected to say the words aloud.

There's something infinitely sad in his expression. "And I care for you too, Ahsoka," he whispers, "But my planet is with the Separatists right now, and you're a Jedi. We can't... not right now. After things settle down though..."

"You mean after the war," Ahsoka replies flatly, sighing. "That could be years."

"I know," he agrees quietly, "But it would be considered treason for us to remain in contact when we are on opposite sides. I can't – I don't want to just leave my planet, my home. I'm sure you can understand that."

And she can. Ahsoka knows that, much as she cares for Lux, she wouldn't want to leave the Order, leave Anakin, leave the Republic to join him. Maybe one day she might, but not right now. She knows she's still young, and anyways, she doesn't need to decide immediately. If she changes her mind later -- or if he does -- it will be easy enough to find the other.

"Yes," Ahsoka murmurs, smiling sadly, "Yes, I understand that. I wouldn't want to leave the Jedi so suddenly. The Order is my home, my family."

Lux huffs a laugh. "We make quite a pair then."

Ahsoka can't help but grin, even as sadness pools inside of her. They're only putting off the inevitable. Another moment passes, and Ahsoka lets the shuttle drift in space. They still have time, and she doesn't want to rush this.

He leans over kissing her lightly for a second. "This isn't a goodbye," he declares fiercely. "I'll be waiting for you."

She chokes back a sob that threatens to escape and throws her arms around him. She doesn't want to leave, but they don't have a choice. Ahsoka has never hated the war more than she does at this moment, even though, were it not for the war, she may never have met Lux. Actually, she probably would have, just differently. It's no use stressing over the what ifs.

Lux holds her for a long moment before pulling back. "I need to go," he says, standing up. Their eyes meet again, and Ahsoka can see how much he hates doing this.

"Be careful, Lux," she warns as he slowly steps back towards the door from the cockpit leading to the rest of the shuttle.

He smiles. "May the Force be with you, Ahsoka." And then, he's gone, disappearing through the door. It slides shut behind him, and Ahsoka soon feels his presence drifting further as he leaves in an escape pod.

"Come on, Artoo," Ahsoka states, trying to sound more cheerful than she feels. "Let's go home." She enters the coordinates for Coruscant into the navicomputer and makes the jump to hyperspace as soon as the shuttle is ready. She tries hard not to think about leaving Lux, forcing herself to remember that it is not goodbye. She will see him again, even if it's not for a while.

***

Lux has always tried to never do anything which he might regret, but it's so hard right now. He can't just leave his family and friends on Onderon to be with Ahsoka, even if he wants to. He fears that if he does, he'll regret it later and take it out on her, though she's not at fault. They have to wait, and waiting is hard.

He pilots the escape pod away from the shuttle, programming the hyperdrive to return to Onderon. The pod jumps to hyperspace seconds after he watches Ahsoka's shuttle disappear. For now, they have to part ways, but he'll never forget the young Togruta Jedi who stole his heart.

Even if he didn't recognize it at the time, he was making a mistake, one which he knows he would have regretted. The Death Watch would have killed Ahsoka simply because she's a Jedi and wanted to defend innocents. Lux doesn't think he ever could have forgiven himself if she was killed or if he actually joined that group of criminals. It's something his mother would never have condoned.

And maybe they're doing this all wrong. Onderon, like many other systems, left the Republic because it could no longer abide by all the corruption and remain in a place where its interests would be looked over in favor of the corporations. Ideals such as that is what resulted in the formation of the Separatist Alliance. But they had never wanted war. Sure, they knew it was a possibility, but they had hoped they could have peace.

Why would Dooku have had Lux's mother killed for something that everyone wanted? Why would he want the war to continue unless he has an ulterior motive? Honestly, Lux can't say anything for sure, but he senses that something is amiss. All he can do is find evidence to prove it, though even that will be a monumental task.

He sighs heavily, watching the blue and white streaks of hyperspace with unseeing eyes. Perhaps the solution is to focus on Onderon and what would be best for his planet. Only then can he actually work towards bringing this war to an end.

***

Anakin knows that something is amiss the moment Ahsoka returns to the Temple. After declaring that she's fine, she locks herself in her room and hasn't come out, even though it's long past time for their morning meal. Something happened, and he has to find out what. She's his Padawan, and if she's upset, he needs to know.

He waits another hour before giving up and going to knock on her door. "Ahsoka?"

She mutters something inaudible, and he can hear some moving around. "Yes, Master?" she calls back, sounding about as unhappy as she feels in the Force.

"Come on," he urges, "It's long past time for you to eat, so how about we go to the cafeteria, and you tell me what has you hiding in your room." She has classes to be attending too, also.

The door instantly slides open, and Ahsoka glares up at him. "I am not hiding," she huffs.

"You have been in here all morning, despite the hour," he points out, "We must go."

She shrugs, silently following him without complaint. "So?" he presses after they sit down at a table in the cafeteria and begin eating, the silence dragging on for much too long. "How did everything go? I know you went to ensure Lux Bonteri didn't get himself into trouble or killed."

"Everything was fine," she assures him. "We ran into Death Watch, but we got away without any problems." Yes, Anakin knew all that, courtesy of her official report to the Council about the incident, but he still had to ask her.

"What's Lux like?" he queries, sensing somehow that he might have something to do with Ahsoka's current emotional state. "Padme knew his mother quite well from what I've heard."

"He... Well, we didn't spend that much time together," she deflects, shrugging, keeping her gaze fixed on the plate in front of her. "He was focused mainly on trying to avenge his mother's death, so I suppose he's extremely loyal to people. He nearly got himself killed from recklessness, but he's a good person." Her lips quirk into a slightly sly smile. "He reminds me of someone else I know."

Anakin gives her a look. "I have no idea who you might be speaking of," he states dryly.

She grins. "I'm sure you don't," she answers sweetly. Anakin snorts, focusing on his food as he thinks about their conversation. He picked up a lingering, almost buried, feeling of affection from Ahsoka when she was talking about Lux. He was beginning to suspect something from the start, but that confirms it.

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