Charlie and Me

Chapter Nine

I got off the bus. Watching him withstand the rain until it soaked to his skin was reason enough, but I knew I couldn't let this chance go; this second chance. I removed my suitcase from beneath the bus and stood on the tarmac, facing him, the eyes I'd longed to stare into just one last time. 

Now Kelsey acknowledged I was staying, at least for the short term, she left to go and borrow some clothes from the nearest boutique. I was left alone with the one person I was desperate to both hug and slap at the same time.

We didn't say a word as we headed for the Glenn Cafe on Thomas Street. He offered to carry my case and we just walk, side by side in a strange comforting rhythm. It was like the volume had been turned down on my life; the traffic muffled, the rain almost silent; surreal not the word. 

In the warm cafe I ordered us both a coffee. I was unsure if it would be a five-minute chat or the beginning of the rest of our lives, but we could always order another cup.

Neither of us speak and I don't think either of us know how to start; though that's not the real reason for the lack of words.

We hardly know each other. It has been weeks since that last night on the beach, and in reality we'd only spent a few days in each other's company. Out of the bubble of our holiday romance he'd been planted into a situation so ordinary for me and so alien to him. He was the Adonis on the beach that'd piggy-backed me into the water. He was the muscly stranger who'd bought me a pizza and cocktails on the beach. He was the caricature of everything I'd ever wanted in a man.

I'd built him up to be more than he was, and vice versa. Once an idea had been planted in my head it was hard to shake it. If I thought he was the most amazing man I'd ever met then he was. Charlie was just that; Charlie. I didn't even know his second name and there was a reason for that. He was the fling and second names didn't come included as standard.

If only he'd made it to the airport I would now be on the coach heading towards my husband doctor in Durham. We never said goodbye, never ended it. This was just the closure he needed, he maybe even blamed me for losing his job. He was on the way to see me at the airport after all when it happened. If he'd never met me he'd never have been on that road. This was just the resolution of our summer. It had to be.

Under the fluorescent lights of the empty cafe he barely resembled the Adonis at all. His face was all strong lines and dark circles and it was obviously he hadn't slept in a while. Had he been thrown out of George's place when he'd lost his job? When he could no longer pay the rent? His hair was longer, but only just; now not quite the army buzz cut. He was shivering in his drenched clothes, and only upon removing his shirt to sit in his vest did he begin to approximate the beach god I'd once worshipped.

He also looked pensive. Maybe I wasn't the only one now drowning in reality. Dreams were so much better when they stay just that. Stark reality never daring to destroy them.

'Thanks for getting off the bus, Amber.'

Even his voice sounded peculiar, deep tones uneven and unsure.

'I can't believe you're here,' I said rather feebly.

Couldn't I have said something a little more profound? As I watch his expression I know he's made a mistake. This whole thing was a pipe dream that'd grown into something unmanageable, that'd spiralled out of control. He should've stayed in Greece. There was no place for him in this life. Something we both could easily see.

'You don't really want me, Charlie. It was meant to end and I was meant to get on that bus.'

'You don't mean that,' he replied, the hurt spreading across his face.

'But I thought you felt the same!'

'Why would I feel the same if I've just travelled through the night to get here? I had to ask my dad to wire me enough money for the flight; told him I was planning to take a trip around Europe before coming home. But I'm not going back to Cincinnati. I want to stay with you, Amber; if you'll have me.'

I wasn't really sure what to say. I wasn't really sure what any of it meant. The crossroads to my life weren't when I boarded the plane to Greece, they were right here, right now. The choice that'd change my destiny was on the table before me, or rather sitting across from it.

Did I stay and make a life with a man I hardly knew? Or did I buy another ticket, board the coach and live out the life I was owed?

Taking one more look at him, I know what I have to do.