March, 3, 2022
Mateo
5:26pm
I ruined everything
I ruined all of Rufus's effort to make tonight special and I ruined it with all my anxiety and anxiousness.
"It's okay babe" Rufus hummed happily and kissed my forehead and rubbed my back
“Wanna tell me what's wrong now?" Rufus asked me
"It's nothing just got in my head again" I told him not moving as he lightly ran his fingers through my hair
"About what?" He asked
"I…I didn't want you to see me shirtless" I told him and finally found the strength to move away from him
"Why?" He asked me genuinely confused
"Because I don't look like you, My stomach isn't flat and I have stretch marks and black spots" I admitted feeling more and more insecure
"Well yeah I expected that because you're human, you really think I'm that shallow I would care about that?" Rufus asked sounding like he was joking but I could tell he was hurt by the slight accusation
"No…I know you and you wouldn't make fun of me but I can't help but compare myself to you because your so beautiful" I told him which made him jump
"Aw Mateo, I think you're beautiful too no matter what you look like" He told me and held my hands
"We don't have to go all the way tonight" He added which made my stomach tighten
"No we can I just…I don't want to disappoint you" I told him feeling tears swell up in my eyes
"I'm not disappointed" Rufus reassured me while rubbing my arm
"But you want this" I said as my voice started to crack and tears started to come down my face
"I only want this if you want this" He told me
"But I want to make you happy" I sniffed and wiped my face
"I love you and- "I stopped when I realized what I said
"Did you just say you loved me?" Rufus asked
"Yes" I answered and almost a whisper
"But don't feel pressure to say it back just because I said it" I told him and he just smiled at me
"I love you too" Rufus told me and placed his hand on my cheek
"And I promise I'm not just saying that so you will get in my pants, I don't think with my dick you know that" He told me which made me giggle
"And I want to wait until your ready" Rufus told me
"But your already ready" I reminded him
"Yeah but that just means the second your ready we can just right into it" He joked and pecked me on the lips
"Are you sure?" I asked again
"I'm positive, I rather die a virgin the pressure you into doing something your not comfortable doing" Rufus hugged me and I hugged him back
"But please don't make me die a virgin" He whispered in my ear and I laughed
"So what do we do now?" I asked him
"Well we still got the house to ourselves, want to watch a movie and eat ice cream?" He asked me
"Yes" I said excited as he put back in his shirt and we walked out of his room and went into the living room holding hands
YOU ARE READING
Teenage dream (Collage AU) -Next step-
FanfictionMateo and Rufus decided that they are ready to take the next step and start being physical with each other. However Mateo starts to feel insecure about his body and overthinking Rufus reaction.
