Everything in Audrey's life is perfect. Perfect boyfriend, with the perfect meet cute story. Prefect friends, who are always there for Audrey. Perfect spring break plans to cap off her last year in college. Yup. Audrey's life is perfect, perfect, pe...
Charlie chortles. "You know that's not what a golden shower means right?"
"Huh?" I ask, my train of thought lost at Charlie's interruption.
"A golden shower. It's a pretty specific sex thing."
"What? Really? Where they pour oil on you?"
"No," Charlie's laugh rings through the phone. She has the best laugh. It's warm and sophisticated. I went through a phase of trying to replicate her laugh. My version sounded more like a donkey in pain. There are some pretty mortifying home videos of me and my pained donkey laugh before I finally gave up and embraced my own, far inferior, laugh. "It's when someone pees on you."
"Ew! Seriously? People like that?"
"Yeah, Beth had a guy ask her to do it to him."
"No way! Did she?"
"Her story. Anyways, I interrupted. What happened with your unbathed T.A.?"
"Oh, yeah, he mumbled something about his research and his dissertation being ruined and told us he couldn't deal with us right now and then just left."
"He just left you?"
"Yup. Turned out the lights in the room with us all sitting there and walked out mumbling about how he is going to be working in fast food for the rest of his life after this but maybe it won't be so bad if student loan forgiveness and the increase in minimum wage comes through."
"Poor grad student," Charlie laughs, "they broke him."
"Probably, but I got out of my Friday discussion, so yay for broken grad students!"
Charlie laughs again. "Harsh."
"Friday. Night. Discussion. Survival of the fittest baby!"
"Alright Katniss you are not, what are you doing with your new-found freedom?"
"I'm going to go over and surprise Pete. We're supposed to hit up a party later tonight. Maybe we can grab some dinner first. We haven't been able to do General Wonton's It's FRI-ed-rice-DAY so say sake it to the week all semester."
"I miss totally lame college themed food specials."
"You're the one who opted to grow up and get a job. It's not too late for you to go all Van Wilder and come back and do college with me."
"Don't tempt me..."
"Come to the quad. We have cookies."
"You have cheap beer and rail liquor," Charlie groans. "I miss neither."
"Hey at least you never tasted the good stuff before you graduated. I have to suffer knowing how bad the stuff we are drinking really is."
"Check your account, maybe there will be a little something in there to get yourself something one rung above rail."
I squeal. "Charlie! You're the best!"
"I know. Now go out there and do something I would have done so I can keep living vicariously through you."
"Like I could fill those shoes! Love you."
"Love you too. Have fun tonight, but remember to be safe."
"Yeah, yeah; you too. Try to keep your pants on until you get home."
"I did lose my pants one time in a bar..."
"One time?"
"Twice! Go! Do something ridiculous I can lord over you for the rest of your life."
"Deal."
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