Spiderman's Sister

Hey......

I have no idea how long it took me to at least calm down enough to stop my tears. James tried to get me to open the door a few more times but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. At some point I heard him fiddling around in the kitchen. He probably cleaned up the leftovers from the barely eaten dinner. I've had the TV on for a while now to somehow drown out this emptiness inside me, unfortunately without success. I don't know myself why it's so important to me not to tell Peter anything at first. Maybe James is right after all and I'm really just using Peter as an excuse? But what if I'm just thinking that because I have no idea what's going on with me anyway? Falling head over heels in love with a stranger is totally out of character for me. Annoyed, I press my face into the pillow and scream into it. Can I please just turn back time and be happy again? It is now a few minutes before midnight. The TV program bores me, I'm dead tired, but I can't sleep. That doesn't exactly help improve my mood. But I know what would help - James. Don't know if he even wants to see me, after locking him out all night I couldn't blame him if not. Maybe he's already asleep. Maybe it's enough if I can just see him for a moment. I go to the door and unlock it. It's pitch dark everywhere except for the living room. I sneak towards the room and feel my heart skip a beat when I see James. He is lying on his back on the floor staring at the ceiling.

Victoria: Hey.....

He doesn't seem to have noticed me because he's a little startled. When he looks at me, my heart breaks even more. Traces of dried tears on his cheeks gleam in the light. Nevertheless, he sits up and gives me a loving - but somehow sad - smile.

Bucky: Hey......

Victoria: I'm sorry about earlier.

Bucky: No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said.

Victoria: And I shouldn't have overreacted like that. You somehow... hit a nerve with what you said.

Bucky: What do you mean?

Victoria: That I'm just using Peter as an excuse. I don't know...... maybe....... maybe it's true.

The next moment he got up and stood in front of me.

Bucky: I really didn't mean it like that.

Victoria: It still hurt.

He interlaces the fingers of his hands with mine and looks at me.

Bucky: I'm sorry. I understand that you need to consider Peter in your decisions. I was just afraid that you might end up not wanting me in your life. That...... that you want to keep me a secret at first and then slowly push me out of your life bit by bit.

Victoria: Why would I want to do that?

Bucky: I have no idea.

Victoria: James, I want to be with you. I want this relationship to work even when we're not here at the cabin. But that's exactly why I want to take it slow at first - so that it can work.

Bucky: Really?

Victoria: Yes.

He plants a kiss on my forehead and I lean against his chest.

Bucky: So we'll keep it a secret for now.

Victoria: And you have no problem with that?

Bucky: No. I was really just afraid that you wouldn't want me anymore. But if I can keep having you in my life, I can live with a little secrecy.

Victoria: Thank you.

I wrap my arms around him and for a moment we just stand there and hold each other. As cheesy as it sounds, I've already reached the point where I need him in my life. Even if Peter had a problem with our relationship, I already know that I could never let him go. He already owns a very large part of my heart. One that i just can't live without. As I lean against him, I suddenly feel so tired that I can barely stand.

Victoria: Can we go to bed now? I'm dead tired and couldn't sleep without you.

Bucky: Of course doll.

I pull him into the bedroom behind me. We crawl into bed and I immediately snuggle up close to him. Much better. His scent, the rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat, the warmth of his skin and the coolness of the metal of his arm are all I need to fall asleep a short time later.