Physical Attraction | Sakusa Kiyoomi

54.

I knocked on her open door. After weeks of trying to convince her to stay, she still wanted to leave.

Back at the windmill, she had explained to me why. She would have to learn to be true to herself and follow her own desires. Besides, she could no longer rely on my words.

I might not be able to decide for her, but I couldn't give up on her either. Therefore, while she actually managed to treat me as if nothing had ever happened between us, I was still trying to convince her otherwise.

I didn't know what was worse, the fact that Arisa was acting like we had never had something going on or the pitying looks I got from my teammates.

But I ignored it. The pain, the stares, I ignored all of it. I tried focusing more on the games again. I had to. For I knew that this was also a reason for her to leave the team. She didn't want the whole team to suffer from our personal drama. And I managed to do so. I was as good as before, if not better. I started getting along much better with my teammates, being more cooperative and accommodating. I continued to go to therapy and tried to communicate my thoughts and feelings openly.

Every day I woke up trying to find a solution to the problem I had created for myself.

Even when Arisa trained the new manager to replace her, I didn't give up. I couldn't. She was not allowed to leave!

And yet, it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough to convince her to stay. She wanted to leave, so I tried the one last thing that might have made her stay.

"Come in." She didn't look up as she packed a small bag of toiletries. Surely things she would need in the morning. The godforsaken morning before she would leave.

I followed her invitation before closing the door behind me. Her room appeared bare and cold. All her personal belongings tucked away in boxes, waiting in her trunk for her to unpack them back in Tokyo.

She looked up. "Oh?" If she was trying to hide her surprise at seeing me, she was failing miserably. "Hi."  She didn't expect to see me.

I realized I must have done everything wrong so far if it actually surprised her that I wanted to see her on her last day.

"Hey," I managed to greet her back.

I didn't ask if she had a moment, because I couldn't for the life of me consider that. It was her last day and I was going to have my moment with her. If she didn't like it, she had the opportunity to get over it tomorrow with a distance of 500km apart.

The thought hurt physically, even though I tried not to let it show. 

"Please stay," I said before I could think about it, because apparently thinking was always difficult for me in her presence.

"Kiyoomi-"

"Please, hear me out." She did just as I asked. "Stay. I will leave the team if it makes you stay. They need you and I bet Atsumu is crying himself to sleep right now because you're leaving tomorrow."

The corners of her mouth twitched upward. No victory on the field ever gave me the triumphant feeling I felt in my chest right now because I had managed to put a smile on their face.

"I bet he'd also cry himself to sleep if you were to leave."

"I don't think so."

She was still smiling. "I don't think I'll ever get used to you calling him by his first name."

Same here, but you won't have to if you really want to leave.

As if she had read my mind, she lost the beautiful smile, exchanging it for a clearing of her throat.