Reflection

.17.

But before I left, I made sure to grab more cookies for the trip. I got into my car, waved at my mom, and drove off.

Lee Know POV

It's been a while.

Juvenile detention wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My whole case wasn't on the news or anything special, but everyone there seemed to know who I was. They knew what I did and knew where I came from.

Most people didn't speak to me because they thought I was one of those school prep kids from the rich neighborhood. I didn't bother to let them know who I was because I was just going to be there for a few months.

I had a lot of time to reflect on myself and my life. What was I going to do now? Was I now some sort of felon? How was I going to get a job and live my life the way I wanted if I had that on my back?

I couldn't even finish school because of it. So when I got out, I had to go back. It was kind of weird. Everyone kept staring and whispering things when I wasn't looking. It made it even worse because I didn't have any friends. No one to talk to except me, myself, and I.

No parent was around to watch me walk across the stage. I watched everyone's parent hug and kiss their faces and congratulate them. A part of me just wanted to have that as well. My dad was a scum bag, the ties with my mom are somewhat cut, and I don't have any siblings that I know of.

The 2 years after that day, my mom was in and out of the house occasionally. She would come in, not even look at me and then leave again. She would still do her motherly deeds and provide food and makes sure the house is still up and running.

While those days were going by, I started taking on engineering. I got a full-time job to pay for the online college classes. I sent many applications for a scholarship to a good college. I waited for a while to open the one that I got back.

I got in?

I never chose to believe it. It was out of state, so that means I would be leaving all of this behind for good. I grabbed everything I needed and some cash for the way. I walked out the door and headed to the closest bus stop. I sat on the bench just wondering what I was going to do if I don't make it.

Judging from my high school years, I've concluded that I have a bit of a temper. While I'm on this scholarship, I can't cause any trouble, or ill be back here flipping burgers for the rest of my life. Living with a mother who doesn't acknowledge my existence anymore. I love her, and I know what I said was wrong but that was the only thing that came into my mind.

Everything was happening so fast and I couldn't keep up.

"Leaving the area?" Someone asked while sitting next to me.

I lifted my head and stared at the old lady for a second in confusion. I did understand how she knew until I saw the small slip of paper hanging out of my pocket, the college brochure. When I looked at her she flashed a toothy smile.

"I wanted to turn my life around before it was too late," I said taking the paper out of my pocket and looking at it intently.

"That's good." She said patting my hands, "Just make sure everything in one destination is done."

"What do you mean?"

"You need to get all of your business done in one place before leaving for another. Or you'll end up like me. End up coming back, never being able to fix it and left with regret." She chuckled.

I nodded my head knowing that I'd done a lot.

"But don't listen to me, a lot of people say I speak nonsense anyway."

I looked over at her and saw the way she smiled at the road. For the first time, I met someone that seemed to have it worse than I did. I felt bad for her even though I didn't know her at all. But she was right. I needed to fix things that I believed I couldn't before its too late.

I got up and started running down the road. I had no idea if something good would come out of this but, It's what needed to happen. I made it to my destination and walked up to the door.

Should I be doing this? Yes

I have to do it to fill this hole that has been eating me alive.

I rang the door bell and waited. Nothing happened for a while and was about to walk off when it opened.

"May I help you?" The lady asked.

"Hello." I started clearing my throat along with my mind, "I'm Lee Know."

____

After a long talk with her, she understood everything. She felt bad for me along with disappointed. I apologized for everything I'd done to her and her family. To my surprise, she forgave me for it. It didn't make it right but It made me feel a tad bit better about leading this new life.

"By any chance, Is Jisung here?" I hopefully asked.

She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head. It saddened me that he wasn't here anymore. I don't know why I thought he would be. He's not going to put his life on pause for me, I hoped not.

And with that, I said my goodbyes and left.

When I stepped outside and the door shut behind me, I didn't want to cry. I looked out onto the yard that covered the majority of their land and smiled. I walked back to the bus stop knowing that It would take a while for the next bus to come.

I got comfortable on the bench and looked at my phone. I started scrolling through old pictures. Some of me and my old friends, my mom, and Jisung. I was thought about him a lot ever since I got out. I tried my hardest to get him out of my head so I could move on with my life, but that didn't seem to work.

Now all I could do was view old pictures and forget about him.

"Hey."