Inspirational/Random Words

Nine:)

Just a small peak at my life......

So just a few moments ago, my mum thought is was a good idea to grab my hair and neck and start dragging me around the house. Calling me nasty and a waste of space and blah blah blah. So I get just a little bit of confidence and say "Well you've had a little too much. Your an insane drunk!" That took a lot to say and yea I regret it. Why? Because she somehow managed to cut my neck and face. I'm not sure how she did it but it didn't exactly feel great! So the next think she says hurt more than her calling me a 'waste of space', she said "Don't worry about what I'm doing. I'm not the one cutting myself!"

Ah yea tears started building up but I didn't dare let her feel the satisfaction of seeing me weak. I took it like a soldier and waited until she told me to get out of her sight.

So I'm back in my room and I don't even look in my mirror because I'll see everything that's wrong with me and start crying. Well that's not the case, the tears were already falling, but not for long. I wipe those traitors away and do the one thing I haven't done for 4 months. Yea you guessed it! I cut myself.
Not my wrists.
Not my arms.
Not my legs.
Not my thighs.
Not my waist.
Not my chest.
But my neck. Wondering just what would happen. But I stopped after 3, then I thought about it, maybe just a few more......

I eventually stopped but good thing I didn't go to deep on them because I don't wanna die because of someone as fucked up as my mum. That's just not gonna happen.

I broke my record:( Damn and now she's just walking around the house screaming how she wants me out of her house and thinks I'm crazy and should be put away! Well if you don't like me, put me in a damn orphanage or something if it's that bad geez!

I vow to myself that I will never hurt myself again because what's it doing? Nothing but leaving ugly scars all over the place and keeping me in a depressing shell.

Don't hurt yourself! If your parents or bullies or even a friend is putting you down, don't listen to them! Just smile and walk away. That'll make them feel real good about themselves, knowing they can't say anything to hurt you!
Now if someone's hurting you (abusing or anything) fucking tell on their ass! That doesn't make you weak or a snitch. It makes you a smart and brave person for going out and seeking help!

Don't let anyone and I do mean ANYONE, take away your smile, happiness, or beauty!

~Crimson