Outlasting For Those 49

VI

Thomas and Peet were both asleep and I was taking my turn to watch. I wasn't even paying attention to the outside, I was just thinking about how would this end. I may not be the happiest person on earth but I don't want to die. Not after I took a deep reflexion about how would the afterlife be. Of course I didn't got to a conclusion, I just took guesses. Will it all just be a darkness? Was I going to be happy on heaven?

Shit i'm angry. I suddenly want to break everything. I stand up and run hitting anything I manage to find and then break down into tears. I had finally exploded.

"Aspen." I feel a hand touching my arm. "Aspen." I hear it again but this time louder. It was Peet.
I wipe my tears, nod and kept going. That was what my mom used to say when it was late at night and I was falling asleep over my books, to just keep going. And I knew it wasn't okay, to put all this pressure on a little girl, but I'd still listen to her and study until I was more than prepared for the next day.

I wake up from this daydream and I look at Peet in the eyes. He looked so vulnerable like he was about to cry, too.

He helps me to stand up without saying anything, then, across of him, I see Thomas looking through the window, desperate.

"Guys I'm sorry to ruin the moment but someone might have seen me and are coming for us." Thomas said.

"Shit. Close the doors!" Ordered Peet.
Considering there was only one door and it was already closed we just stood there in silence, then we grabbed our weapons.

I carried my striker pump and stood in front of the door, breathing hardly. Oh come on, don't be silly, you know you can't pull that trigger, you are barely holding that weapon."
All my life, there has always been a voice taking out all of my positivity and welcoming the negativity. It's not even someone's voice, it's not a trauma, it's my voice, I've been hunting myself this whole time.

"Peet." Thomas whispered. I didn't look back to see what they were saying, I just stood there waiting for something happen.

Something did happen.