Break My Heart Myself

Chapter 12

I stroke her hand as she smiles sadly at an image of her and my father.

"What made you different from the other actresses and models?" I ask in hopes that she won't feel so sad anymore. This was supposed to a positive, learning curve but I fear that I've taken her back to the sunken place.

"I did whatever the fuck I wanted." My mom nudges me slightly while flicking through the pages. "I was a trendsetter before it was even a thing, I was a modern day Marilyn Monroe who was unafraid of being who I wanted to be. Since I had started out in Baywatch, everyone wanted to keep me boxed into this image so when I started doing Playboy and dating the bad guys... people were shook yet intrigued to see what I would do next."

"Right."

"People had a lot of things to say about my looks whenever I would go to an event or step out on the red carpet but confidence is key. It's hard to be original nowadays as we're all copying people who have inspired us or taking notes from the past but you need to find what makes your style unique."

I nod my head in understanding, "Ok."

"The faux leather look has been brought back to the extreme and you're literally seeing it everywhere so you need to add your own twist. People need to know that Tatum Lee does leather or latex like this." My mom gives my hand a squeeze. "You are a beautiful, curvaceous woman so use that to your advantage."

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TatumLee: Break My Heart Myself ft Travis Barker is out now on every platform.

5,000,000 likes ~ 13,000 comments

Break My Heart Myself is my first collaboration with Travis Barker so he threw us a party to celebrate our first single together. Now that we have announced my signing to DTA Records, I am hoping that things will only go up from here.

I have tried to stay away from the charts because that's not what music should be about but I would be lying if I said that I didn't know we were number one. My mom surprised me before the party with flowers to celebrate the good news.

Hello, my name is Stevie

The spotlight falls on me as I walk into the venue alongside Summer and Miley who are playing the role of my backup dancers as I perform on the mic.

Actually, I'm lying, it's really Bebe

I flip my hair to the side which earns me a few cheers from the crowd.

It's the meds, so they make me really sleepy
Klonopin, my friend, yeah, she numbs the feeling
My doctor upped my dosage
My mom felt bad, so she sent me roses
Without it, I feel really hopeless
And 5.7 of Americans know it

I leave the girls side as I make my way over to the stage where Travis is playing on his drums.

Whoa, I'm living and I'm dreaming
Trying to stay even, oh

I set the microphone down on the stand as I begin to perform a few of the choreography from the music video which is playing somewhere in the background.

No, I don't need your help
To make me sick, to make me ill
I don't need anybody else
'Cause I can break my heart myself
I don't need your help
Getting off of this carousel
I don't need anybody else
'Cause I can break my heart myself

My eyes widen slightly as I spot Pete standing besides Colson, Avril and Derek who appear to be jamming to my song. I have not really spoken to any of them as of late because the whole situation has been messy.

I have not spoken to Megan since she tried to fight me infront of my house and I have found out that she has blocked me on everything. Our whole friendship group knows about what went down with Colson so I have been avoiding Avril and Derek like the plague because I know that their perception of me has changed.

Woo-hoo
Woo-hoo
Woo-hoo
'Cause I can break my heart myself

I don't need your help
To make me sick, to make me ill
I don't need anybody else
'Cause I can break my heart myself
I don't need your help
Getting off of this carousel
I don't need anybody else
'Cause I can break my heart myself

Travis joins me as we stand infront of our friends and family as they cheer us on. I was fearful about coming into this new era of mine with the new style and sound as I didn't know how it would be received.

Society is notorious for trashing people and making them feel like a fool. Many artists fear change because they know that the fans and the media have such a powerful role in making that a success or a failure.

"Thank you for all showing up tonight." I say with a smile. "This is the start of something new and I am so honored to announce that I have officially signed with DTA Records which is owned by this amazing man, Travis Barker."

Everyone claps as I give Travis a little side hug.

"I was skeptical about joining the team as I'm a big budget type of girl..." I laugh alongside everybody else. "Working with a new team can be scary as you have to learn about eachother and understand that we work in different ways. Travis has been so freakin' cool and chill about making my dreams come to life which means the world to me as I know that I am in the right hands."

I hand Travis the microphone once I am done with my speech since he is the host of the party and I go to get myself some drinks as the music starts playing in the background.

"Hey."

I turn around with a martini in hand to see my ex boyfriend standing there, "Pete."

"Tatum." He rubs the back of his neck. "How are you doing?"

"I'm at my release party so I'm running high on adrenaline." I click my tongue at him before taking a long sip of my drink. "How are you doing? I was pretty surprised to see you here tonight."

"Why are you surprised?" Pete awkwardly asks which makes me feel pretty awkward. "This is kind of weird."

"You're telling me." I fake a laugh. "We are not together anymore so I assumed that you would stop attending anything related to me but you were at Miley's concert too."

"She invited me."

"Then why are you here now?" I quietly ask since I don't really know what to expect from him now. He has blocked me from everything yet he keeps popping up at events that I'm at which is giving me mixed feelings.

"I miss you." Pete confesses and my eyes widen in surprise. "I want to say that I hate you for cheating on me but I don't. You broke my heart, made me cry and I may have wrote a whole stand up special dissing you but I can't deny how I feel."

"P-"

He grabs my free hand, "I want to make things work with you."